


Broken

by Jcapasso916



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-20
Updated: 2015-11-20
Packaged: 2018-05-02 14:37:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5251967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jcapasso916/pseuds/Jcapasso916
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After finding a broken archangel hanging in Lucifer's warehouse, they set along the long road to recovery, and find love along the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken

**Author's Note:**

> In this fic, Cas pulls Sam from the cage immediately, soul and all, before Dean goes to Lisa. 
> 
> Not sure how 'graphic' the violence is, but it could be disturbing, which is where the non-con comes in briefly as well.

Cas arrived at Bobby’s with a thoroughly disoriented Sam to find Dean and Bobby both drinking very heavily. It had been an entire day since Sam jumped into the cage. They could thus be forgiven for thinking that they were so drunk they were hallucinating when they saw Sam standing next to Cas and just dismissed him like he wasn’t there. 

Sam frowned at his welcome. “Well you’d think coming back from hell would get a little more of a reaction,” he said disgruntled. 

When he spoke that snapped the two hunters out of their alcohol induced haze. Dean was the first to jump up and wrap Sam in a bear hug that seemed to go on forever. As soon as Dean let go Bobby took over and Dean noticed Cas standing there and realized that he had something to do with it, so grabbed him in a hug too. 

Bobby let Sam go with a, “Damn good to see you boy,” before he turned to Cas and asked, “How?”

“The cage was designed to hold an archangel. Humans barely register in its defenses and seraphs only slightly more so,” Cas said matter-of-factly. 

“So what it’s like some giant net and you were small enough to fit through the holes?” Dean said incredulously.

“That is an…apt description, I suppose.”

“So you knew all along that you could get him back out? That was your plan?” Bobby asked.

“Not exactly. I did not anticipate having any grace left to do so, but it was always my intention to find another sympathetic angel and ask for their assistance. I would not have let Sam do such a thing without having some chance to get him out.” Dean just winced at that because, yeah, he had let his brother do it thinking it was a one way trip. Cas was getting better at reading people so didn’t miss Dean’s wince and correctly interpreted the reason for it. “You couldn’t have known what the cage could do to a human soul the way I do, and I elected not to tell you for fear of it becoming more difficult for you. You have nothing to blame yourself for.” Cas decided not to tell them about the promise he had made to try to keep Sam safe. There was no reason for them to know since the other party was dead. 

Sam was speechless. He had thought that Cas didn’t care about him at all; that he was only tolerated by the angel because of his relationship to Dean. Cas was too focused on Dean to notice Sam’s surprise, and Sam decided not to voice it. Not yet anyway. There were more important matters to discuss. “We have to go back to Detroit.” He said. 

Everyone turned to him and blinked for a moment at the change of subject. Bobby was the first to speak, “Why would we need to do a damn fool thing like that?”

“Lucifer was holed up there for months for a reason. I don’t know what it was. He was actively hiding it from me. Maybe that’s why I was able to overpower his mind, because he was so focused on hiding that, but whatever is there is important and something he didn’t want us to find. I think that’s a good enough reason to check it out don’t you?”

“Sure Sammy,” Dean placated his brother. “We’ll leave in the morning.”

 

Bobby elected not to go, figuring that they might need him there with the books depending on what they find and they could always call for Cas if they got into trouble, so it was just the two Winchester boys filing into the impala the next morning. Sam was actually driving since Dean had a hangover from all the drinking he did before Sam got back and he slept halfway to Detroit, before he woke up and kicked Sam out of the driver’s seat. 

They parked a few blocks away from the old warehouse that Lucifer had been hiding out in. They didn’t know if there were still demons camped out there and didn’t want to alert them of their presence if there were, and sure enough as soon as they opened the door they were set upon by two demons who were quickly dispatched. They moved through the entire warehouse taking out a couple more demons but didn’t find anything of interest. 

They were just getting ready to leave and call it a wash when Sam noticed another door, set back into the wall, almost entirely covered by shadows. They opened it to find a narrow stairway leading down. It seemed this place had a basement. When they reached the door at the bottom, it was hot to the touch, but Dean just kicked it in and gasped. The entire floor and all the walls were blazing with holy fire. Dean would be willing to bet that the other side of the door was as well. 

They wondered for a moment why Lucifer would keep a room of holy fire in his headquarters, until Sam noticed something on the ceiling. He had a sharp intake of breath drawing Dean’s attention and he just pointed. Dean’s only reaction was, “Fuck!”

Dominating most of the ceiling were six huge wings each impaled with an angel blade, what was left of them anyway. They were broken in multiple places, blackened, and ragged like they had been plucked clean in most spots. They completely dwarfed the small unconscious body suspended between them that was not recognizable due to the blood and grime covering it. It looked like it had been flayed alive…multiple times. They weren’t even able to tell if the body was alive, or simply unconscious. 

They both began to look around frantically trying to find something to put out the holy fire. They both figured that Lucifer must have enjoyed torturing this angel, so he must have left some way for him to get in. Dean ran up the stairs running his hand along the wall looking for some sort of lever or switch. Then came back down the other side doing the same thing. He was nearly back to the bottom when his hand hit something and he pulled hard. The holy fire began receding from a small pathway and clearing a circle in the middle of the room. 

Sam, who had been looking around the door for something, wasted no time in running in there, Dean hot on his heels. It didn’t matter to them whether this was someone friendly or not. No one deserved that. Neither of them dared calling Cas in here with this much holy fire around so when they realized they would need a ladder to get to the figure, they ran to search for one. 

Pulling the blades from the tattered wings was difficult, especially since each one earned a shriek from the seemingly still unconscious body. Sam caught the body as it fell and instinctively brushed the hair back from his face, and gasped. “Gabriel!”

“Son of a bitch!” Dean said. Surprisingly he was upset for Gabriel. Gabriel had sacrificed himself for them in the end, and earned a lot of respect from Dean for that. He still found the archangel highly annoying, but that last act, combined with the obvious torture that came as a result of it, not only wiped the slate clean, but left him owing Gabriel one. 

Sam unknowingly echoed his brother’s thoughts, and was highly concerned for Gabriel. He couldn’t let the archangel suffer any more on their behalf, so he picked up Gabriel’s limp body and trudged up the stairs, Dean following him, where they could safely call for Cas. Dean didn’t even put up a fuss using angel airways back to Bobby’s. There was no way they were going to fit those wings in the car anyway. 

 

Bobby was startled from his books at the arrival of the boys, with a frantic angel, and another unconscious angel, but after taking one look at Gabriel’s condition he whipped into action. Dean ran to help him while Sam settled Gabriel on the floor. There was so much damage that he would be hindered by the couch and he didn’t think they could safely maneuver those wings to get him upstairs to a bed. He could be moved when the worse was taken care of. 

With Cas’ help, he had just managed to get Gabriel settled without bending any of his wings under him, when Dean and Bobby came back with armloads of first aid supplies, including a bowl of lukewarm water and a rag. When Sam started cleaning Gabriel’s face, Dean started on his shoulders, refusing to think about what it was he was doing. 

While Bobby kept himself useful handing off supplies as they were needed and bringing fresh bowls of water as the current ones kept being tainted with red and black, Cas felt useless. He couldn’t help his brother. His grace was far too weak to heal an archangel’s grace, and he knew little of human medicine, so he was relegated to simply watching, as Sam and Dean cleaned Gabriel’s body, and then began sewing up the larger wounds, of which there were many. Cas counted 28 cuts on Gabriel’s torso that needed stitches, 2 on his face and 5 on his arms. His legs seemed to have escaped the worst of the damage, but there was one large gash on each leg that needed attention. 

Even with the speed and skill that both Winchesters had, it took hours for them to clean and stitch Gabriel’s broken body. Sam noticeably winced with tears in his eyes as he stitched up one wound that went all the way to Gabriel’s groin, not wanting to imagine the pain that would cause, and being thankful that Gabriel was still unconscious. 

Once they were finished with his body they looked over his wings. “What can we do for his wings Cas? Anything?” Sam asked. 

“I am unsure how Lucifer was able to manifest them on this plane, but I believe that you would treat the bones as with any other broken bone. The rest will have to heal on their own.”

“Speaking of, why isn’t he healing?” Dean asked. 

“From what I can see his grace is fractured,” Cas’ voice broke. 

“But it will heal though right?” Sam asked hopefully. 

Cas looked away, “I don’t know,” he said sadly and changed the subject. “It’s likely that once the bones are set back in their proper places the wings will return to their normal plane of existence, but they will still take a while to heal. If they heal.”

Sam just gulped, refusing to shed tears, at least until they were finished. Dean was doing a better job of controlling his emotions, but beneath the surface he wasn’t in much better shape as they each started pushing the wing bones back into place. As they started working though, Gabriel started whimpering and thrashing in pain. “No Lucifer…please,” he sobbed. “I’m your brother…please”

Sam and Dean were struggling to hold on. “A little help here Cas?” Dean said frustrated. 

Cas came over and placed a hand on his brother's forehead and Gabriel went limp again. “You may wish to work quickly. I do not know how long that will last.”

Both hunters nodded tightly and got to work as quickly as they could and still be precise. As Cas had predicted all six wings, once straightened, quickly disappeared to whatever plane they normally existed on. The hunters all sighed with relief. It would be a nightmare trying to manage taking care of him around those huge wings. 

Cas transported Gabriel to a bed upstairs before he was being summoned and had to leave. “I will return when I am able,” he said as he left. 

Dean offered to stay on the couch while Sam stayed in their room with Gabriel. Dean freely admitted that Sam was far better equipped to deal with the tetchy archangel in the best of times, but with the trauma he had endured, Dean would just put his foot in his mouth and make matters worse very quickly. That didn’t mean he didn’t do his part of course. Sam thought it wouldn’t be a good idea for Gabriel to wake up alone, so he barely left the room. Dean brought him up food and drinks, and stayed with Gabriel long enough for Sam to shower and use the bathroom. He even went to the store and got an assortment of pies and candies for when the archangel did finally wake, though if two of the pies were miraculously disappeared by the time the archangel awoke no one would say anything. 

 

Sam was sleeping soundly when the fearful whimpers woke him five days later. Gabriel was thrashing in the bed. “Please Lucifer…I’m sorry…please…no more,” he cried. 

Sam jumped out of his bed and propped Gabriel upright and sat behind him rubbing his arms gently. He knew better than to try to hug the archangel as that would likely send him into more of a panic thinking he was being restrained. “It’s okay Gabriel. You’re safe now. We got you. Lucifer’s gone. I promise. It’s okay,” He kept up the soothing mantra for what seemed like forever. When Dean stuck his head in to see what was going on, Sam just nodded to him that he had it covered. Dean nodded back gratefully and padded down to the kitchen to retrieve a pie and a fork, and took it upstairs and put it on the bedside table, before leaving the room again figuring Gabriel would want as few people as possible to witness his breakdown. 

About thirty minutes after Gabriel woke he began to relax. Sam kept up his chatter. “Everything’s ok now Gabriel. I’ve got you.”

“Sam…Sammy?” Gabriel gasped in confusion. “What…”

“We found you and got you out of there. We patched you up as best we could. How are you feeling?”

Gabriel sighed in relief and turned slightly so he could bury his face in Sam’s neck as Sam’s arms wrapped around the damaged angel. “Everything hurts. Especially my wings.”

“Well I don’t know if they will work on you or not, but here are some painkillers you can try,” Sam said as he handed Gabriel some pills, knowing that as badly as he was shaking there was no way he would be able to get the bottle open on his own. After helping Gabriel to swallow them with some water he asked, “Do you want to talk about it?” Gabriel’s shaking increased so much he was nearly vibrating. Sam rushed to say, “You don’t have to. It’s ok.”

“I wouldn’t tell him. I didn’t tell him. I swear I didn’t,” was all Gabriel said. He didn’t want to talk about it, but he had to make sure that Sam knew that much. 

“Tell him what?” Sam asked. 

“How to find you. I didn’t tell him,” Gabriel whined as he buried his head further in Sam’s neck. 

Sam couldn’t help the gasp that escaped at that admission. The fact that Gabriel had held up under that kind of torture for that long to protect their secrets floored him. Granted Gabriel wouldn’t have had any way to know exactly where they were, but there was plenty he could have given that could have led to them; Bobby for example. He brought his attention back to the trembling archangel in his arms, “Shh it’s ok Gabriel. I know.” 

When Gabriel finally stopped trembling and pulled away a bit to look at Sam he said softly, “Thank you Sam. I’m sorry to be so much trouble.” He looked down and began picking at the sheets on the bed. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for Gabriel. I’m sorry it took us so long to find you. We thought you were dead so we weren’t even looking. We should have.”

“No. You shouldn’t have. How did you get me away from Lucifer anyway?” Gabriel asked still picking at the bedspread no looking at the hunter. 

Sam had hoped to put off the heavy stuff until Gabriel was feeling better but realized that he wouldn’t be able to. At least he could make sure that Gabriel had something sweet to eat during the story. “You want some pie while I talk?” Sam asked reaching for the pie that Dean had brought up. 

Gabriel looked up, a spark of life back in his eyes; only a small spark but Sam would take what he could get as he handed Gabriel the pie with a smile. Once Gabriel was eating, Sam began to talk. “We got the rest of the rings and shoved both Michael and Lucifer back in the cage.” Sam hoped to get away with the barebones explanation, but knew that he wouldn’t.

“A little more explanation please. How did you get them in? I know it wasn’t as simple as just shoving them in. And how did you find me?”

Sam sighed heavily. “I said yes to Lucifer…” was as far as Sam got before he got a facefull of half chewed pie and an exclamation of, “you what!?” Sam wiped off his face wryly and continued. “I overpowered his mind and jumped in and pulled Michael with me.”

“Of all the stupid, idiotic, hairbrained scemes? Are you nuts? How the hell did you get out?”

“Cas pulled me right back out, and I’m fine, but when he was possessing me, he was trying very hard to hide something from me. Something in Detroit, so when I was back we went and checked it out and found you.”

Gabriel sighed and leaned forward resting his head on Sam’s chest. “You self-sacrificing idiot. Don’t you ever do something that stupid again. Please.”

Sam couldn’t help but make that promise when faced with the pleading tone in the archangel’s voice. Whether he would be able to keep it remained to be seen, but he would certainly try. 

Gabriel sat back up and continued eating his pie. He only got through a few more bites though before his eyelids began to droop. Sam smiled and grabbed the pie from him before he dropped it getting a sleepy whine in response. Sam chuckled a bit and set the pie on the bedside table before laying Gabriel back down where he drifted off to sleep. 

Sam looked at the time and realized it would be pointless for him to go back to sleep and settled in with a book. 

 

Sam was in the shower and Dean was sitting with Gabriel. He watched the small body on the bed thinking about what Sam had told him. Lucifer had tortured Gabriel for information on them, and the archangel had kept his mouth shut. Dean doubted that even he could have done the same under that kind of torture. Lucifer had Gabriel for three months, and obviously knew all the best ways to hurt another archangel. He broke his grace for crying out loud and still Gabriel kept silent. 

He was startled out of these thoughts as Gabriel started to thrash and cry out again. “Please don’t…no more…please no more…just kill me…please.”

Dean shook his shoulder and called his name. When that didn’t work he yelled frantically for Sam. He didn’t know how to deal with this. Sam came running in the room, shampoo still in his hair. He had at least put his boxers back on, but that’s all he was wearing since he was still wet. He skidded into the room and gently lifted Gabriel’s back, slid behind the archangel and started rubbing his arms soothingly again. “It’s ok Gabriel. You’re safe. He can’t hurt you anymore. We got you,” He murmured. Dean of course left the room. He was always uncomfortable with these types of situations. 

It took less time for Gabriel to snap out of it this time. He came back to himself with a gasp and a shiver turning to bury his head in Sam’s neck again as he wept and Sam rubbed soothing circles on Gabriel’s back waiting for him to pull himself together. When he did and shifted away, turning so that he was facing Sam on the bed, he finally got a good look at Sam, mostly naked with shampoo dripping from his hair and felt the all too familiar sting of self-loathing. “Look at me. I’m such a mess you can’t even take a stupid shower without me freaking out like some stupid little baby,” he said harshly. “You should just dump me somewhere and forget about me.”

Sam reached out and grabbed Gabriel’s shoulders forcing the archangel to look at him. “Not a chance in hell,” Sam growled. “God Gabriel. Look at what you’ve done for us. What you’ve been through to protect us. Of course you’re messed up right now, but you’ll get better, and we will help. You’re not getting rid of us,” Sam said vehemently. 

Gabriel looked at him surprised and curious. Why would Sam care so much after everything he put them through? But one thing kept sticking in his mind and he couldn’t help but ask. “We?” Gabriel had only seen Sam after all. 

Sam just shrugged. “Dean and Bobby aren’t very good at this kind of thing. Dean in particular is worried about sticking his foot in his mouth and making things worse. Cas is really busy right now with the chaos in heaven, but he pops down to check on you as much as he can.”

As if summoned by the use of his name Cas appeared in the room. “Gabriel! You have awakened.” He then noticed Sam and tilted his head in confusion. 

Sam smiled at the angel. “I was in the shower when I heard Gabriel wake up and didn’t want him to be stuck with Dean’s tactlessness so rushed in here.” 

Gabriel shot Sam a grateful look for trying to preserve what little dignity he had left and told the hunter, “Go finish your shower. I’ll be fine,” with a forced smile. 

Sam shot Cas a curious look asking if he would be able to stay until Sam got back to which he received a nod in reply so Sam went to finish his shower. 

 

As soon as Sam left Cas turned to Gabriel and asked, “How are you feeling brother?”

Gabriel winced. “Not good. Everything hurts, my wings the most, and I can’t access my grace and can’t tell what’s wrong with it or if it’s even there.”

Cas nodded morosely and looked at Gabriel searchingly for a moment. “Your grace has been fractured. It doesn’t seem to be healing yet. It is in much the same state it was when you arrived, but it has not been that long. It may still heal.”

Gabriel let out a shaky sigh and hung his head, trying not to cry. Crying in front of Sam was bad enough, but he didn’t want his little brother to see him like that. Once he felt like he could speak without crying he looked back up and said, “I doubt it will heal. Luci knows what he was doing. Even my wings aren’t healing like they should.” An angel’s wings were essentially pure grace. If his wings weren’t healing, then his grace was truly broken. 

“They are healing brother, just slowly. It has been less than a week and already they look far better than they did. It is possible that whatever Lucifer did to manifest them on the physical plane is contributing to the slow healing. There is always hope.”

Gabriel humored his brother by nodding, though he wasn’t nearly so optimistic. He couldn’t remember the last time he had hope. He decided to change the subject. “Thank you little brother, for pulling Sam from the cage.”

“Of course Gabriel. I did promise you that I would do my best to protect him.”

Sam had returned from his shower and stopped outside the door not wanting to interrupt just in time to hear Gabriel thank Cas and he felt confused at Cas’ response. Why would Gabriel care so much about protecting him? He was pulled out of his thoughts at Gabriel’s reply. 

“I don’t understand how you could let him do that in the first place. Say yes to Lucifer and jump in there.”

“There was no dissuading him, and it was our best option. I had faith that he could overpower Lucifer’s mind to take control. The Winchester’s regularly do the impossible after all, and he is strong. I knew that either I or another sympathetic angel could pull him out again.”

“It was still too big of a risk,” Gabriel said grudgingly. 

“It was a risk yes, but a manageable one.” Cas ignored the glare that Gabriel sent him at that and was saved from more discourse on the subject as Sam came back into the room. 

Sam felt bad for eavesdropping, but not bad enough to confess anything of course. Not yet anyway. He might bring it up later once Gabriel was more stable. When he came in he grabbed the pie and held it out to Gabriel. “Eat something and then we will check on your bandages and see how you’re healing. Make sure you haven’t pulled any stitches,” he said as he sat back in his spot in front of Gabriel. 

“I must go. I will check in later,” Cas said as he disappeared.

“Well that was abrupt,” Gabriel said around a mouthful of pie. 

“He always does that whenever anyone mentions checking your bandages. I don’t think he can bear to see that. You should have seen his face when we were fixing you up. I actually thought he was gonna cry for a while there,” Sam explained, hoping to make Gabriel see how much he was valued. 

“We?” Gabriel scoffed. “How much arm-twisting did you have to do to make Deano help?”

Sam rolled his eyes. “None actually. He was just as worried about you as the rest of us.”

“Yeah right. That guy can hold a grudge better than me even. You really expect me to believe that he just forgave everything and actually likes me now?” 

Dean had been bringing up a bowl filled with candy for Gabriel and heard that last comment. He pushed open the door and walked in saying, “Well you obviously don’t know me as well as you think you do pipsqueak.”

Gabriel plastered a completely fake smug grin on his face that everyone could see through though they pretended to be fooled. “Why Deano. Are we friends now? Shall we do each other’s nails and braid our hair?”

Dean rolled his eyes. “You still annoy the crap out of me but then so does Sam half the time.”

That shocked the smirk right off Gabriel’s face. To be compared to Dean’s brother was the highest of compliments, and Gabriel didn’t know how to take that. Dean saw this and sighed. “Ok listen up shorty and listen close because I’m only gonna say this once and then I’m checking out of this chick flick moment. Got it?” At Gabriel’s slow nod he continued. “I’m not sorry for the way I treated you before because at the time you deserved it, but in the end you laid down your life for us and kept our secrets under torture. That makes you as good as family in my book,” He said firmly as he set down the bowl of candy and left the room. 

Gabriel just sat there with a gobsmacked look on his face blinking at the now closed door. Sam couldn’t help but laugh at that. He had told Dean that Gabriel would need some reassurance from them and that was about as reassuring as Dean gets, which was amusing in itself, but Gabriel’s face was just the icing on the cake, and he couldn’t stop the laugh from escaping. 

It took a moment for Gabriel to come back to himself, and couldn’t help but smile at Sam’s laughter, and continued eating his pie. Once he was finished Sam told him to take his shirt off and lie back down so he could check the wounds. Sam knew that Gabriel was feeling very uncomfortable and not quite himself yet when he didn’t get any kind of crude or suggestive comment at that. Gabriel just quietly complied. He lay there with his eyes closed, twitching and wincing as Sam peeled the bandages away to check on his stitches. 

“Ok. You’re healing up pretty well. You pulled a couple stitches, but nothing bad. I don’t need to redo anything. In fact we can probably take them out in a few days. I’ll call Cas to put you under for that though. It’s pretty painful.”

“He won’t be able to keep me out for long you know.”

“I know. We don’t have to do it all in one go. It won’t hurt anything to leave some of them in a little longer.” Gabriel nodded. “You can probably get up and around if you feel up to it as long as you’re careful.”

Gabriel shook his head. He wasn’t ready to leave this room yet. He felt safe here. This room was the only place he had felt safe in months, and the thought of leaving it made him feel cold. 

Sam recognized the beginnings of a panic attack and quickly shifted Gabriel up again and sat behind him, hoping the body contact would help and said, “It’s ok Gabriel. You don’t have to if you don’t want to. Just breathe. Concentrate on your breathing.”

It only took a few minutes for Gabriel’s breathing to even out as he fell asleep leaning back against Sam, his head falling back against the tall hunter’s shoulder. Sam saw no reason not to stay put for a while. Maybe when Gabriel woke again having that body contact from the start might help him not to panic so much, so he just grabbed his book and started reading with one arm wrapped around Gabriel’s chest, and if, every so often, his hand came up to run his fingers through Gabriel’s sandy colored hair, he ignored it. 

Dean looked in a few hours later to check in on them and see if Sam needed anything and raised his eyebrow at the arrangement. Sam just gave him a look like ‘hey shit happens’ and Dean just rolled his eyes and left. Contrary to popular belief Dean wasn’t blind. He could see his brother was getting attached to the annoying archangel and worried about what would happen when he recovered. Gabriel wasn’t exactly the type to stay in one place for long. He could hope, for Sam’s sake, that he would still come around often, but that was just hope. There was just as good a chance that as soon as he could the archangel would disappear again never to be found. Dean decided that there was no use worrying about it now. 

 

It was a few hours later that Gabriel started to stir again. He started whimpering and twisting his body, but it didn’t seem like he was going into a full flashback so Sam took a chance. He dropped his book and wrapped his arms lightly around the scared archangel, resting his head on Gabriel’s. “It’s ok Gabe. You’re safe. It’s not real.” That was all it took to pull Gabriel out of it, and he started and then sighed when he realized where he was and just stayed there for a moment with his head on Sam’s shoulder and the hunter’s arms wrapped around his naked torso. He had long dreamed of being able to wake up like this, but it was bittersweet now because he knew that Sam was just there because he needed him. That he couldn’t care for Gabriel the way Gabriel did him. Gabriel was just a wounded puppy that Sam was nursing back to health. 

That thought sobered Gabriel and he pulled away, putting some distance between them. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you like that.”

“Stop apologizing Gabe,” Sam said softly missing the look that crossed Gabriel’s face at the nickname. “I could have just as easily dumped your ass on the bed and left if I had wanted to,” Sam said with a smile. 

“You should have,” Gabriel mumbled looking down and picking at the sheets again. He didn’t deserve the care that Sam was giving him. He didn’t deserve any of this. He deserved to be back in that room with Lucifer after everything he had done. 

He felt a firm hand on his shoulder. “Gabriel.” Sam didn’t continue until Gabriel looked back up at him. “I am here because I want to be. Because you are important to me. Because I want to help you,” he said firmly. 

Gabriel would blame his next action on his flailing emotional state. He surely never would have done it if he were in his right mind. He leaned forward and kissed the hunter. It was barely a peck, and as soon as his lips touched Sam’s he scrambled back like he’d been scalded. He jumped out of the bed and backed up to the wall. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…I…I’m sorry…” Gabriel babbled in fear. He just knew they were going to send him away now. He always ruined everything. 

Sam went over to him and wrapped him in a gentle hug. He would worry about how he felt about the kiss later. Right now Gabriel needed the reassurance. “It’s ok Gabriel. Don’t worry about it. Just relax. Ok?” He said trying to get the panicked archangel to calm down. 

“Don’t send me away. Not yet. Please.” Gabriel sniffled softly.

“You’re not going anywhere Gabriel. Not until you’re ready and then only if you want to. I promise.”

Gabriel took a deep breath and forced himself back under control. He was really getting sick of making a fool of himself. This emotional instability was going to drive him insane. Gabriel huffed and pulled himself from Sam’s embrace and stomped petulantly over to the bed and sat down. 

Sam smothered a smile at the behavior and walked over and ran his hand through Gabriel’s hair noticing how he leaned towards the contact. Sam could imagine that it had been a very long time since Gabriel had any positive physical contact. “What is it Gabe?” he asked encouragingly. 

“I hate this. I hate being so weak and…and…emotional,” he practically snarled the last word. 

Sam sighed and sat down next to Gabriel putting a hand on his back. Physical contact seemed to calm him so he would keep it up as long as the archangel let him. “I can’t imagine what you must have gone through Gabriel. I would be more worried about you if you weren’t a mess.” Sam had been tortured a few times himself, and Dean had been to hell, but Lucifer was surely a master at it, and between the holy fire and what he did to Gabriel’s wings which he knew were the most sensitive part of angels. I mean he broke Gabriel’s grace and now on top of everything else Gabriel was essentially helpless for the first time in god only knows how long. And to have all that done to him by his own brother. He had every right to be a mess. 

Gabriel just snorted derisively. Sam moved his arm around Gabriel’s side and pulled the archangel against him. “Don’t worry about it, and just let me help you. Please.”

Gabriel let out a weary sigh and relaxed placing his head on Sam’s shoulder. He couldn’t deny how good it felt letting Sam take care of him, even if it would make things worse in the long run. 

When Cas popped back in Gabriel jumped away from Sam. He agreed to let Sam help him, but he was not going to show such weakness in front of anyone else. Sam shook his head and said, “Hey Cas.”

“I only have a few minutes but I thought I would pop in and see if you need anything.”

Sam did have an idea if Cas could pull it off. “Do you think you could make this bed any larger? It would probably be more comfortable for Gabriel to be able to spread out a bit more.” Gabriel shot him a suspicious look, but Sam just ignored it. 

Cas nodded and waved his hand making the bed into a king size. He would do whatever it took to help his brother. Unlike Gabriel, he saw nothing odd about Sam’s request. 

“Thanks Cas,” Sam said. 

“You’re welcome. I will go check in with Dean before I go. Just call if you need anything more.”

As soon as Cas was gone Gabriel turned to Sam narrowing his eyes. “You know the bed was fine,” he said suspiciously. 

“For one person sure,” Sam said completely matter-of-factly. Gabriel’s eyes got wide as he realized what Sam was suggesting. Sam thought that he should probably clarify. “You seem to be more relaxed when you have bodily contact when you’re sleeping,” he said with a shrug like it was no big deal, and it really wasn’t he could almost convince himself. 

Gabriel huffed and laid down, hating that Sam was right and would only be sleeping with him to help keep him from going off the rails again. He would be a fool to turn it down though. Sam laid down behind Gabriel and wrapped an arm around his stomach and gently pulled him close, careful to avoid hurting any of his wounds, and Gabriel sighed contentedly. If this is all he would ever get from the hunter, he would savor it while it lasted. 

Once Gabriel had drifted off to sleep, Sam felt free to think about Gabriel kissing him. Obviously he couldn’t let anything happen between them right now. Not with the state that Gabriel was in, but he was beginning to realize that Gabriel had feelings for him. He had no idea how deep those feelings went, but he apparently made Cas promise to protect him, he sacrificed himself for him in that hotel, and stood up to god only knows how much torture to protect him, and now he only felt safe with Sam. Sam didn’t miss the way he pulled up his masks when Dean or Cas were in the room. The real question was how did he feel about Gabriel? He couldn’t deny the warmth that spread through him during the brief second that Gabriel’s lips were on his. Nor could he deny how protective he felt over the archangel, but that could just be a result of this situation. He had to be sure. He didn’t want to risk hurting him any more than he had already been hurt. He turned it over in his head until he fell asleep and was still no closer to coming to a conclusion. 

 

Sam realized that night that he had probably missed a lot sleeping in the other bed. The first time he was woken to Gabriel’s tense and shaking body and quiet whimpers he realized that somehow Gabriel had rolled over and had his arm around Sam’s waist and his head resting on the taller man’s chest. Sam could tell that it was a nightmare rather than a flashback; he had gotten rather good at telling the difference after Dean came back from hell; so he just rubbed Gabriel’s back in soothing circles and ran his fingers through the archangel’s hair making shushing sounds until he drifted back off peacefully. 

That scene repeated itself a few more times during the night until the last time when Gabriel started awake, shaking like a leaf. “It’s ok Gabriel. I’ve got you. You’re safe,” Sam whispered not catching himself before he placed a kiss on the top of Gabriel’s head. 

Gabriel just sighed and snuggled closer to the hunter. “You were right. I did sleep better. Thank you.” He couldn’t bring himself to move just yet. 

“Whatever you need Gabe. I’m here,” Sam assured him. 

Once Gabriel had moved off of him and sat up, grabbing a candy bar from the bowl, Sam smiled and said, “Dean will probably be up in a few minutes and I’m gonna go take a shower and get changed.” This would be the first time the archangel was awake during Dean’s visit, so he wanted to make sure he knew what to expect. 

At the mention of the shower Gabriel ran his fingers through his hair wincing at the feel. “After you’re done maybe I should…um…”

Sam chuckled. “I wasn’t gonna say anything,” he said with a playful smile. 

“I…um…I don’t really know how to…um…”

“That’s ok. I’ll show you how to work everything. You probably just always snapped everything up before so it’s understandable.” Gabriel nodded relieved that Sam didn’t make him feel any more stupid than he already did. “You’ll wanna be careful around your stitches though. They’re almost ready to come out, but you still don’t want to irritate them,” At Gabriel’s confused look Sam elaborated, “Using soap is fine, but don’t scrub or anything. Just pat gently over them, and I’ll make sure the water isn’t too hot for you.”

“Thank you Sam,” Gabriel said quietly. He was realizing just how much he would have to learn about being human, and it seemed like a daunting task. 

“Don’t worry Gabe. You’ll figure this stuff out in no time,” Sam said with an encouraging smile and Gabriel couldn’t help but feel reassured. 

There was a soft knock on the door and Dean stuck his head in, raising an eyebrow at the enlarged bed, but not saying anything. He stepped in fully carrying a pie and two forks figuring that now that the pixie was awake it would be the easiest way to keep the peace between them. 

When Sam was returning from his shower he overheard a friendly debate on the merits of cake vs. pie. “Now now Deano, don’t get your panties in a bunch. I’m not saying pie isn’t great. It’s just that nothing beats a seven layer triple chocolate cake.”

“You’re nuts. Pie will always beat any cake in any way,” Dean shot back as Sam came back into the room. 

“Sammy, just the person we need, settle this debate for us will you?” Gabriel said with an almost genuine grin. 

“Oh no. I’m so not getting in the middle of this one,” he said with a laugh as he threw his dirty clothes in the hamper. 

“Aww come on Sammy,” Gabriel said giving him puppy-eyes. 

“Fine. Carrot cake,” Sam said smugly. 

Dean just laughed, both at Sam’s answer and Gabriel’s horrorstricken face. “You asked for it midget,” he said through his laughter. 

“Carrot cake? Sammy how could you?” Gabriel said as if that was the most horrible thing he could ever imagine.

Dean still laughing, said “On that note, I’m out of here before the smiting starts. I gotta do some shopping for Bobby.” 

Sam just laughed, happy to see that Gabriel could still smile and laugh, and grateful to Dean for starting a ridiculous argument to make it happen. “Come on Willy Wonka, let’s get you in the shower,” Sam said tossing a towel over Gabriel’s head. 

After a brief tutorial on how to control the water temperature and turn the showerhead off and on, Sam checked the temperature of the water to make sure it wouldn’t hurt Gabriel’s healing skin. Sam started to leave but hesitated. He realized that this would be the first time since they found him in that warehouse that Gabriel would be alone. Sam waited outside the door for Gabriel to be finished and when Gabriel came out all squeaky clean and dressed in one of Bobby’s old t-shirts and sweatpants, looking none the worse for wear Sam just smiled. “Do you want to go downstairs?” Sam asked tentatively. Gabriel looked at him fearfully, then back to the room they had just vacated, then back to Sam again, who took the hint. “It’s ok. We don’t have to. Lets just go relax in the room.”

Gabriel was both relieved and annoyed with himself. It was just downstairs in the same house he was already in. What was his problem?

“Don’t worry about it Gabriel. Baby steps okay?” Sam knew what the problem was, but wasn’t sure if pointing it out would make things better or worse. He was mostly ok with enclosed spaces, but the more open it was the more it would remind him of that warehouse. He led Gabriel back to the bedroom and Gabriel sat on the bed with a huff. 

Sam was determined to get Gabriel smiling and laughing again. “So did I ever tell you about the time I superglued Dean’s beer bottle to his hand?” That started a long reminisce about different pranks they had played on people. Gabriel, thankfully, kept his to the more amusing, less deadly of his pranks, and they whiled away a few hours laughing and talking. 

When Dean brought Sam his lunch, he also brought a cake for Gabriel, using the excuse that it means more pie for him, but still got him warm smiles from the occupants of the room. “Hey look Sammy. There’s a nest a vamps a few towns over. Me and Bobby were gonna go handle it if you guys will be okay for a couple days?” he asked hopefully. He was really not good at being cooped up and it had been a week and a half. 

“Sure Dean. Go ahead,” Sam waved him off. 

“You’re sure? Because we can call someone else.”

“Dean, just go. I know you must be going nuts sitting around here. We’ll be fine. Won’t we Gabe?”

“Sure sure. Go have fun,” Gabriel said dismissively. 

When Dean had left the room, Gabriel looked at Sam. “It’s not too late for you to go with them. You must be ‘going nuts’ sitting around here all the time too.”

“No way. I’m not leaving you alone here. I told you I’d be here and this is where I want to be right now. You’re not getting rid of me that easily,” Sam said. 

Gabriel wasn’t sure how much he believed that Sam didn’t want to be out there fighting vampires with his brother, but gave a relieved smile anyway. He didn’t know how he’d function alone if Sam left, but he still felt guilty for interfering with Sam’s life. 

Sam put his hands on Gabriel’s shoulders and said “Gabriel,” firmly. When Gabriel looked back up at him he said, “This is where I want to be. Ok?” He knew that Gabriel would likely need these reassurances often and didn’t mind giving them, even though every time he caught Gabriel’s vulnerable honey gold eyes he felt himself getting in deeper and deeper. 

Gabriel’s breath hitched and he nodded slowly. Sam smiled and stretched out leaning against the headboard as Gabriel yawned. “Come here,” Sam said holding out his arms. Gabriel had been up longer today than he had been in a long time. Gabriel sighed and sank relieved into Sam’s arms and promptly fell asleep as Sam picked up his book and began reading again. 

 

Gabriel only slept for an hour before he started whimpering and shaking again from another nightmare. Sam dropped his book and rubbed his back, ran his hands through his hair, whispered to him before Gabriel started awake. Gabriel sat straight up away from Sam, pulled his knees up, wrapped his arms around them and put his head on his knees. Sam kept rubbing his back as Gabriel pulled himself together. 

“This has been such a good day. I thought…maybe…” Sam could hear Gabriel’s voice break as he fought back tears. 

“It’s not that easy Gabe,” Sam said softly. “I wish it were that easy. I wish I could make it all go away for you. It just takes time.”

“How much time?” Gabriel asked in a small voice. 

“I don’t know. Sometimes a long time. Sometimes a short time.”

“I don’t want to do this anymore,” Gabriel started rocking back and forth. “I can’t do this anymore. Please Sam, just let me go. I’m too broken. Please. Just let me go.”

Sam sucked in a sharp breath. He knew what the angel meant. He grabbed Gabriel and held him tightly as Gabriel sobbed into his chest. “No Gabe. No way. Just hold on okay. It will get better. It is getting better. I promise. Just hold on for me okay? I won’t let you go. Just hold on,” Sam babbled as he held onto his archangel. He would be damned if he let anything hurt Gabriel ever again. Not even Gabriel. 

Soon enough Gabriel had cried himself back to sleep. Sam knew now what he felt for Gabriel. That icy feeling in the pit of his stomach at the thought of losing him, and the cold fear that gripped him when he heard Gabriel talking like that could only have one explanation. The only question was what to do about it. On one hand Gabriel was so vulnerable right now that he would feel like he was taking advantage of him, but he suspected that Gabriel had had feelings for him long before this incident, and would it be wrong to give him something to live for? Something to look forward to? But would it just make Sam into a crutch for the archangel? Would it help more than it would hurt? By the time Gabriel woke up again from another nightmare, Sam had decided to just play it by ear. He would try to hold off as long as he could from telling Gabriel how he felt, but if the need arose, he would take the bull by the horns. He would definitely put his foot down on the physical aspect of the relationship though. No way was he going to sleep with someone so broken. He would fix Gabriel first. 

When Gabriel woke, as he usually did, shaking and whimpering, he tried to move off of Sam, but Sam just held him close. For all he knew, letting go last time is what made it so bad. He dropped a kiss on top of Gabriel’s head and just held him until he felt Gabriel relax. Then he loosened his hold but didn’t let go. Gabriel could move if he wanted to, but Sam certainly wasn’t going to push him away. “You’re not alone anymore Gabriel,” he whispered as he brushed a lock of hair away from Gabriel’s face and looked down at him. 

Gabriel closed his eyes and nodded against Sam’s chest. He didn’t understand how Sam could be so kind to him, do so much for him, after everything he had done. He should be pushing Sam away. He should be telling him what kind of being he really is, every bad thing he’d ever done so that Sam would know he wasn’t worth it, but he didn’t have the strength. He couldn’t handle Sam leaving him on top of everything else, so he relaxed and decided to enjoy everything he didn’t deserve for as long as he could, and someday…someday he would tell Sam the truth. 

“When I stood up to Lucifer in that hotel, I really thought he would just kill me,” Gabriel said sadly.

“I’m glad he didn’t.”

“I’m not,” Gabriel said squeezing his eyes shut and willing the memories away.

Sam didn’t have anything to say to that. They sat in silence for a while, until Sam started talking about his childhood. The good parts what few there were. He wanted to get Gabriel’s mind off the bad things. They whiled away the rest of the evening just lying there talking until they fell asleep. That night was just as bad as the last. The flashbacks were coming with less frequency, but the nightmares weren’t getting any better. Sam was just going to have to get Gabriel to talk about it. He hated to put the archangel through reliving those memories, but trying to keep them buried was just making things worse. 

 

When they woke the next morning, Sam was really feeling the fact that he hadn’t eaten anything since lunch yesterday. He couldn’t bring himself to leave Gabriel alone, especially in that room where all his weapons were, but knowing that if Gabriel saw Sam take his duffel bag out of the room he would panic, so he had just skipped dinner. He thought of a plan to get Gabriel out of the room today. 

When Gabriel fully woke, after he had calmed down from his most recent nightmare, Sam said, “I was thinking of trying to make pancakes for breakfast. Come downstairs with me?” Gabriel started to look nervous. “Just try? We can come right back up if you can’t handle it and there is no one else here to see you if you can’t.”

Gabriel could see it meant a lot to Sam, so he agreed to try, and the bright smile that lit Sam’s face as he stood and held out a hand to Gabriel made it worth it. Sam didn’t let go of his hand as they walked downstairs and when Gabriel stepped into the living room he stopped as he felt his breathing quicken and he closed his eyes tightly, Sam just squeezed his hand in reassurance and stood there until Gabriel was ready to go on. 

They made it to the kitchen and Sam guided Gabriel into a chair with his back to the open room beyond. The kitchen itself wasn’t that large so it should be okay. He kept a hand on Gabriel’s shoulder as he sat until Gabriel looked up at him and smiled. Sam smiled back proudly, and patted Gabriel’s shoulder as he set off to get the stuff together for pancakes. He heard Gabriel say behind him, “I didn’t know you could cook.”

Sam just looked back over his shoulder, “How hard can it be? Just follow the directions.”

Gabriel bit his lip to keep from laughing. He wouldn’t be getting any pancakes this morning, but he was sure he would get plenty of amusement. Gabriel happened to be an excellent cook himself, and knew that pancakes weren’t something you could just get right on the first try, or the twentieth try even if you didn’t cook at all. He knew that Sam wouldn’t listen though so he just sat back to enjoy the show. 

Sam was getting frustrated. These stupid pancakes wouldn’t flip right and the batter must be too thick, and everything was falling apart. The only redeeming factor about this situation was hearing Gabriel laugh, though he wasn’t sure how much he liked the fact that he was laughing at him. When Sam dripped some of the batter down the front of the stove he grabbed a nearby rag to wipe it off but wasn’t paying attention as the other end of the rag was on the burner. “Sam careful…” was all Gabriel was able to say before the rag went up in flames and Sam threw it back towards the stove. He grabbed the fire extinguisher and put out the fire and turned around to make a sheepish comment to Gabriel about his cooking skills only to find the archangel pressed as tightly as he could get into the corner hugging his knees and rocking. 

Sam rushed over to Gabriel and dropped to his knees in front of him and heard him muttering, “The fire…it burns…make it stop…it burns…no more fire…please…put it out…make it stop,” 

“Shit,” Sam muttered as moved to Gabriel’s side and pulled the panicked archangel against him. “It’s okay Gabriel. The fire’s gone. There’s no more fire. You’re safe. I’m here. I won’t let anything happen to you Gabriel. I promise. It’s okay. You’re safe.”

Finally Gabriel’s muscles started to relax and he looked up, “Sam?”

“I’m so sorry Gabriel. I shouldn’t have tried to cook. I should have known I would mess it up. I just know how much you love pancakes, and I wanted…” Sam choked up. Sure Gabriel had had flashbacks before but this one was his fault, and so soon after his realization of how he felt about Gabriel, it was just too much. “I’m so sorry,” he choked out as he pulled Gabriel tighter. 

“Not your fault I’m a baby,” Gabriel muttered. 

“You are not a baby Gabriel. Not even close. You’re stronger than most anyone I’ve met. You’ve been through more than anyone could ever imagine and come out the other side. So you’re not in the best shape right now. So what? No one would be after all that. Cut yourself some slack.”

Gabriel let out a small smile. “I will if you will Sammy.”

Sam huffed a laugh. “Deal. So come on, let’s see if we can find something that I can safely make for breakfast.” He said getting up and holding out a hand to help Gabriel up too. 

Gabriel stood on shaky feet, and Sam helped him back to a chair. Sam grabbed a banana. “Aha. Here’s something I can’t screw up,” he said with a laugh and tossed one to Gabriel. Gabriel had every intention of attacking that cake as soon as they got back upstairs, but for now would humor Sam and eat a banana. Once they were done eating, Sam figured that Gabriel should probably be back upstairs in the one room he feels really safe in before trying to get him to talk. 

 

Once they were settled back upstairs Sam broached the subject. “I know you don’t want to talk about what happened, but once you do, things will get better.” Gabriel looked at him skeptically. “I mean it. What is happening right now is your subconscious rebelling because you’re trying to suppress the memories but once it’s out in the open, you can start to heal.” He vaguely remembered reading something like that in college. 

“Sounds like a load of crap to me. How could reliving it make it better?” Gabriel said harshly.

“You’re already reliving it, but you’re doing it alone in your dreams. If you relive it with me, then you won’t be alone anymore,” Sam was really just talking out of his ass now, but it sounded good at least. 

Gabriel looked away, “You don’t want to know,” he said softly. 

“Please Gabriel. Talk to me,” Sam pleaded with the archangel. He knew Gabriel was right he didn’t want to know, but he needed to know. Or more like Gabriel needed to talk about it and Sam knew that he wouldn’t be comfortable enough with anyone else to talk about it so he needed Gabriel to talk to him. 

Gabriel took a deep breath. What Sam was saying made sense, but could he really do it? Could he tell Sam about all that he had suffered knowing it would haunt the hunter? He couldn’t resist Sam’s pleas though, but decided afterward he was going to tell Sam every reason why he deserved it so Sam wouldn’t have to feel bad for him. 

Sam waited patiently for Gabriel to speak. He could see the indecision, but was sure that Gabriel would decide to speak. He didn’t have to wait long. “Like I said, I thought Lucifer was just going to kill me, but he didn’t. I tried to trick him, distract him with a clone while I stabbed him in the back, but he caught me out. We fought. He won, like I knew he would, but when I woke up I was in that room.”

Sam tugged Gabriel back so he was leaning against Sam’s chest, and put his arms around the angel for support resting his head on top of Gabriel’s. He could tell that he didn’t want to look at Sam, and this way he could support him without him having to. Sam had another reason too. He had a feeling that if this was going to get as bad as he thought he didn’t want Gabriel to see his tears. 

WARNING: IF YOU ARE SQUEMISH SKIP THIS PART

Gabriel’s voice caught a moment before he could continue, “There was no fire yet at that point. Lucifer was still in there. He did something…I don’t know what…to make my wings manifest physically, and started pulling out handfuls of feathers. The whole time he was talking to me, telling me how I was a failure as a brother, how I never loved our family, how I betrayed everyone I’ve ever cared about…he just wouldn’t shut up. I don’t know which pain was worse,” Gabriel sniffled a little and Sam tightened his hold on the archangel briefly. 

“Pretty soon, I guess seeing my wings plucked wasn’t enough for him because he started breaking them. He laughed so hard as I screamed. He thought it was funny. He…” Gabriel couldn’t continue through the tears. Sam stroked his hair and waited patiently for him to continue. 

“He told me I ran away from being an angel, so I didn’t need my wings anymore. That I didn’t deserve my wings.” Sam wanted to interrupt him. To tell him that of course he did, but he knew he needed to let Gabriel get it all out so he kept quiet. “Once my wings were well and truly broken, he took his blade and started carving my body, but it wasn’t just cutting my body. It was cutting my grace too. That’s what archangel blades do. He…he cut me everywhere. He…” Gabriel broke down sobbing at that point. Unable to continue. 

Sam knew that they weren’t even to the worst of it yet, but Gabriel needed a break. Hopefully he would be able to sleep a little easier getting at least some of it off his chest. Between the flashback and the crying, Gabriel was soon asleep. 

He at least slept better this time. He still woke from a nightmare, but it was punctuated by much less whimpering and shaking than the others, so Sam chalked it up as a win, and maybe it would encourage Gabriel to talk a little more. Once Gabriel was awake and all there Sam asked, “Do you want to talk some more? It seemed to help.”

Gabriel nodded slowly settling back into the position he was in before. He couldn’t look at Sam when he was talking about this. “It wasn’t long after he pulled the blade out the first time that he got called away for something. I don’t know what. Before he left though, he snapped his fingers and the room was filled with holy fire except the spot I was laying in. My wings though. They were too big and too broken. I…I tried to move them out of the fire, but I couldn’t. It just kept burning and burning. It went on forever. I tried to roll into the fire…to end it all, but I didn’t have the strength. I don’t know if he did something to hold me there or if it was my own weakness, but I couldn’t roll over. When he came back and extinguished the fire I was so relieved. Until…until…” Gabriel took a deep shaky breath. “He cut my clothes to ribbons, cutting me with them and then used the blade to…to…he…inside…” Gabriel started hyperventilating and once Sam realized what he was talking about, he had to smother his gasp and bite his lip to keep from sobbing. He pulled Gabriel tighter to him and leaned down and put his forehead on Gabriel’s shoulder. He knew he should help Gabriel get his breathing under control, but he was too focused on keeping his own breathing under control. He couldn’t let Gabriel see how much this was affecting him or the angel would surely shut down. 

Once Sam had himself under control as much as could be expected, he lifted his head a bit and whispered in Gabriel’s ear, “It’s okay Gabriel. I’m here. I’ve got you. He’ll never touch you again. I swear.”

Once Gabriel was back together he finished up, “Once he was done with…with…that. He cut the rest of me up some more and left my wings in the fire again. He kept coming back for I don’t know how long. It wasn’t until I stopped screaming while he was gone that he realized my wings were so charred I couldn’t feel them anymore and he used a bunch of regular angel blades to pin them to the ceiling so that all my weight was pulling on them…to give them a chance to heal enough to feel the fire again. The outside was numb, but the blades piercing through them…It was almost worse than the holy fire, of course I could still feel the flames licking at me throughout the room, but it wasn’t as bad as being in it, but the blades in my wings…that was terrible. He would pull me down to play with me some more and then stick me back up there. Eventually my grace was damaged enough that I started losing consciousness from the pain. He woke me up though. That had only happened a few times before I woke up here.”

END OF WARNING

 

Sam had steady tears streaming down his face, so wouldn’t let Gabriel turn and look at him. He held him firmly in place, using his thumbs to rub circles on his chest and stomach. “I’m so sorry Gabriel. You didn’t deserve any of that,” Sam said forcing himself to keep his voice even. 

“Yes I did Sam. You don’t know…you don’t know me. What I’ve done.”

“I don’t care what you’ve done. No one deserves that.”

“I ran away from my family Sam. I left behind everyone that depended on me, ran away from my responsibilities, I’ve killed people Sam. Horrible people that were beyond redemption, but people still. I’ve accepted sacrifices in my role as a pagan god, and turned a blind eye to the cruelty of the other gods that I could have stopped. I deserved everything I got and then some,” Gabriel said heatedly. 

Sam surreptitiously wiped his eyes. He would have to make Gabriel look at him for this. He shifted the archangel so that he could see his face and said, “Gabriel look at me.” Only when he complied did Sam say slowly and carefully, “I. Don’t. Care. I don’t care who you’ve been, or what you’ve done in the past. You. Didn’t. Deserve. That. None of it. And don’t ever think you did. Everyone has made mistakes. Sure yours were bigger than others, but you’re more powerful than others too so that’s to be expected. I’m not saying that makes it right. It doesn’t, but it’s in the past, and no matter what you did, you never deserved that. Got it?”

Gabriel had been biting his lip to keep from sobbing, but the dam finally broke, and he buried his face in Sam’s neck again as he broke down again. Sam had known that getting him to finally open up would be difficult, and result in this, but he knew in the long run it would be better, so when Gabriel’s sobs turned to sniffles Sam just kissed the top of his head and said, “Sleep Gabriel. I’ll be here.” Sam knew exactly what Gabriel expected of him after everything he said, and would prove the archangel wrong. He wasn’t going anywhere. Ever. 

 

It was almost dinnertime when Gabriel woke again, nightmare free this time. He was surprised that Sam was still here, despite what he had said. He was beyond embarrassed about his behavior earlier, not to mention all the things he had revealed about his torture. 

“How did you sleep?” Sam asked him. It seemed that he slept well, but Sam would be the first to tell you that nightmares don’t always give outward signs. 

“Much better. How did you know? How do you always know what to do with all this?” Gabriel wasn’t really capable of articulating better, but luckily Sam understood him.

“You know what Dean and I do for a living. You know some of what we have been through. Do you really think we haven’t been through something like this ourselves?” Sam asked wryly. 

Gabriel winced to think that he was the cause of even a little of that for the hunters. He sat up and moved away from Sam looking for something to do to get his mind off of it and his eyes lit on the forgotten cake. He wasted no time grabbing it and digging in.

Sam was hungry, but didn’t think that Gabriel was up for another trip downstairs. He would give him until tomorrow before trying to push him anymore. He was therefore, very happy when Cas popped in. 

“Hey Cas,” Sam said cheerfully. 

“Sam, Gabriel. How are you brother? I apologize that it has been so long since I’ve stopped by.”

“No worries Cassie. I’m feeling better. Still not great, but hey, I’m getting there,” he said with a side glance to Sam. 

Sam got the feeling that Gabriel and Cas could use some time to talk about angel stuff, so he excused himself to go downstairs and scrounge up some dinner. “Just don’t try to cook anything!” Gabriel called after him with a laugh as he heard the echoing laugh coming from the hall. 

“How are you really Gabriel?” Cas asked, knowing that the archangel was putting on a good face for the hunter.

“I don’t know. I mean physically, I’m feeling much better. Emotionally, I’m getting there, but I still can’t feel my grace. I really don’t think it’s coming back,” he said sadly. 

Cas looked at him scrutinizing for a few moments before smiling, “It is healing brother. Slowly, but I can see it healing. It is better than it was.”

Gabriel looked up at his little brother hopefully, “You’re sure?”

“Positive.”

Gabriel broke out in a grin. “Thank you little brother. You’ve made me feel much better.”

“I see your wings are nearly healed too.”

“Yeah they are, but the feathers are growing back now and they itch. It sucks.” Gabriel said petulantly. Usually wings healed so quickly that such discomfort was a moot point. 

“I would imagine. I wish I could speed up your healing for you.”

“No worries little bro. You’ve helped more than enough,” Gabriel said with a smile. 

“I’m glad to hear it.”

“So why don’t you tell me what you’ve been up to that’s keeping you so busy?” Gabriel asked curiously. 

Cas froze for a moment. Telling Gabriel about what is going on in heaven would likely be detrimental to his recovery, but he was not skilled at lying. Perhaps a partial truth. “With Michael gone and the apocalypse diverted, there is much chaos in heaven. We are trying to find our way again. It is a difficult process.”

Gabriel nodded sadly. He wished he could help, but he would be no good to anyone like this. He couldn’t even get into heaven without being able to access his grace. 

“But it is nothing for you to worry about brother. You concentrate on getting well. We have things in hand.” Cas had noticed the regret on Gabriel’s face. The last thing he needed right now was to be worrying about heaven. 

Sam came back in with a few sandwiches. He handed one to Gabriel. “I thought you might like something other than sugar to eat.” Sam wasn’t going to ask if Gabriel’s grace being messed up made him more human when it came to things like food, so he was just going to do the best he could to muddle through. 

Gabriel scrunched up his nose at the sandwich, but ate it anyway. Sam laughed. The three of them talked for a few hours, Cas and Gabriel avoiding the subject of Gabriel’s grace and Sam and Gabriel avoiding the subject of Gabriel’s issues. Once Cas left Sam laid down and held his arms out to the archangel who gratefully settled into them. “I’ve been sleeping most of the day. How can I still be tired?” he asked annoyed.

“It’s been a very emotional day Gabriel. That sort of thing can take a lot out of you, and you’re still recovering physically too. It’s perfectly normal,” Sam assured him resting his cheek against the top of Gabriel’s head and wrapping his arms around the small body nestled against him. 

 

It was nearly morning before Gabriel was woken by a violent nightmare. He was thrashing and crying and just saying, “brother please,” over and over. 

Sam pulled him closer and rubbed firm circles in his back. This was one that he needed to be snapped out of, not soothed through. “Gabriel wake up. It’s just a dream. Come on. Wake up Gabe.” When Gabriel’s eyes snapped open his breathing was very heavy, “There we go. It’s okay. It was just a dream.”

Gabriel’s eyes filled with tears. “I thought his was over. I thought after I talked about it…”

“Talking helps, but it doesn’t fix it Gabe. This is still a lot better. You slept most of the day yesterday without nightmares, and it’s almost morning now and this is your first one. Usually you’ve had a few by now. It’s getting better. You just have to give it time,” he reassured the trembling archangel. “Do you want to talk about it?”

WARNING: SKIP IF SQUEMISH

“No,” Gabriel said firmly, but then sighed as he remembered that talking did help. “It was the blade. When he…when he…” Gabriel was getting really annoyed with not being able to say it. Maybe if he could say it then he could get better, “When he was fucking me with the damn thing,” He growled and then spun out of the bed. He just couldn’t be so close to Sam when he was talking about this. Sam understood and gave him his space. The archangel paced angrily across the room. “It was…horrible. The pain was almost as bad as the wings, but it was more than that. He was my damned brother!” Gabriel yelled. “How could he do that to me? To anyone? To take something…something that was meant to be fun, and even pure and turn it into an instrument of torture. My own brother…” Gabriel stopped and fell to his knees sobbing, and Sam was by his side in a moment. 

END OF WARNING

Gabriel flinched away from him though so Sam backed off. He understood, but he couldn’t deny that it hurt seeing Gabriel flinch away from him. “Gabriel,” Sam said softly. 

Gabriel looked up at him with fire in his eyes. “Aren’t I just a freak? A broken archangel who can’t even take care of himself. Well now you know everything Sam. Are you happy?” Gabriel said heatedly. 

Sam wasn’t sure if he should touch Gabriel or not so decided to play it safe for a while, and give the archangel his space and hope he was making the right call. “You are not a freak Gabriel. Lucifer was the freak. Anyone who could hurt his own brother like that has something seriously broken inside of him. Sure you’re broken right now, but you will heal. He never will. You are better than him in every way. Don’t ever doubt that. None of this was your fault, and I’m so sorry you had to go through it.” Sam said firmly, voice only breaking at the end. 

Sam had no warning before he had an armful of crying archangel. He held tightly and let his own tears fall, surprised that he had been able to hold them as long as he did. He had basically gotten the gist during Gabriel’s talk yesterday, but hearing it put so plainly, and hearing about how it affected him made him hope that Michael was tearing Lucifer apart slowly and painfully down there in the cage. 

Sam felt Gabriel’s breathing even out as he fell back asleep. Not surprising as it was only 3:30 in the morning so Sam gently lifted Gabriel off the floor and settled them both back into the bed. He had a really difficult time getting back to sleep though. Images of Gabriel in that room being tortured in the worst possible ways kept dancing through his mind. Sam did finally drift off to sleep much later though.

Gabriel woke slowly and peacefully, until he remembered what had happened during the night. He scrambled off Sam and went to sit on the other bed. He couldn’t believe he had said all that. He had never meant for Sam to know so much, and just wished he could take it all back. Sam didn’t need this. Didn’t need to deal with this. With him, as broken as he was. He should do them all a favor. He reached quietly over to Sam’s bag and began rummaging for a weapon of some sort. 

Sam wasn’t sure what woke him, but he reached instinctively for the archangel that should have been next to him finding nothing but air. He sat up quickly, his eyes snapping open to see Gabriel pulling his gun out of his bag, and that icy feeling and cold fear were back. He didn’t think he’d ever moved so fast in his life as he did when he knocked the gun out of Gabriel’s hand and grabbed the archangel. “God Gabriel. Don’t. Please. Don’t…don’t do this. I can’t lose you. I just can’t,” Sam was beyond rational thought and just pressed his lips to Gabriel’s. It was short and chaste. “I love you Gabriel. Please don’t…” Sam’s brain finally caught up with him and he tried to get his breathing back under control as he rested his forehead against Gabriel’s with his eyes closed thus missing the gob smacked look on Gabriel’s face. “I’m sorry Gabriel. I shouldn’t have…”

“You love me?” Gabriel interrupted him. Sam bit his lip and nodded without moving or opening his eyes. Gabriel was torn. Part of him wanted to believe the hunter. Needed to believe the hunter, but he knew that it was more than likely either just a protective feeling that Sam was misinterpreting, or Sam was lying, trying to give him something to hold on to while he needed it. “Since when?” Gabriel asked softly. 

“I don’t know,” Sam answered honestly. “I’m pretty sure by the mystery spot though.”

Gabriel sucked in a sharp breath. “But why? How? I was…” he couldn’t think of a way to put it, but Sam knew what he meant. 

“I know. I can’t explain it, but I know I walked into that place at the end with every intention of killing you, but as soon as I saw you I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t even fight. I wanted to convince you. I needed you to show me you had a heart, and you did.”

Gabriel thought back to that time, and he was caught off guard when the hunter just looked at him and begged, and didn’t even try to fight. Before he could say anything though Sam was talking again. 

“I know this isn’t a good time. And you probably don’t even feel the same for me.” Sure Sam knew that Gabriel had feelings for him, but feelings and love weren’t the same thing. “But just please don’t throw your life away.” Sam opened his eyes and they met astonished gold ones. “You are loved, and you would be missed. I don’t think I could go through that. Just let me help you get better and you can go live your life however you want, just don’t throw it away. Please.”

Gabriel’s response was to capture Sam’s lips in a kiss. Neither of them moved to deepen it. They just enjoyed the feel of their lips moving together for a moment. “I do love you Sam. I still think you deserve so much better, but I promise I won’t try to do anything drastic again. I don’t know how much good I’ll be to you though,” Gabriel said looking down at that last part. 

Sam just pulled the archangel into a hug and, once Gabriel couldn’t see him anymore he rolled his eyes. “I don’t care about that, Gabriel. That can wait as long as you want, or even never. I don’t care.” 

Gabriel relaxed into his hunter’s embrace. He wasn’t sure how long that attitude would last, but he could hope that it would last until he was ready, if he ever was. 

 

After what seemed like a long while they pulled apart and Sam asked him, "You feel up to going downstairs for some breakfast?”

Gabriel laughed. “As long as you let me cook it.”

Sam looked at him strangely, “You can cook?”

“Yup,” Gabriel said popping the p.

“But you can usually just snap things up,” Sam said bewildered.

“What can I say? I find cooking relaxing.”

A little while later Gabriel popped a plate of pancakes covered in sliced bananas in front of Sam giving him a kiss as he did, to grins from both of them, and Sam had to admit that Gabriel was a damn good cook. Gabriel sat down with his own pancakes slathered in chocolate. “Dean and Bobby should be back today,” Sam said. 

“Mhmm,” Gabriel muttered around a mouthful of pancakes. 

“I bet they would be glad to see you up and around when they get back,” Sam said easily, making sure not to pressure the archangel at all. 

Gabriel took a deep breath and let it out shakily. “Yeah okay,” was all he said, getting a brilliant smile from Sam. Between his newfound confidence due to his new relationship with Sam, and being able to cook and relax, he almost felt ready to expand his world beyond the bedroom. 

By the time he finished breakfast Gabriel had decided to cook a big lunch for the hunters for when they got back. He did get frustrated at a few points when he realized that he couldn’t just defrost the meat with a snap of his fingers, but Sam showed him how to use the defrost on the microwave. He was annoyed at how slow it was but when Sam pulled him close and kissed him, he forgot all about it. 

Sam could see that Gabriel was getting impatient so decided to distract him from the slow thawing meat. He snaked an arm around the archangel’s waist and pulled the small body close to him before capturing Gabriel’s lips in a kiss. He tentatively licked Gabriel’s lips with his tongue, hoping that it wasn’t too much, but when Gabriel opened and joined his tongue to the dance, he figured it wasn’t. Sam did make sure that his hands didn’t wander, and kept his hips back from Gabriel so he wouldn’t feel how much Sam was enjoying this. It was slow and sweet and full of promise, but it was interrupted by the ding of the microwave, making them both jump and then laugh at each other. 

Dean and Bobby came in the door a couple hours later while Gabriel was working three pots and a skillet, as well as the oven. When they smelled the aroma permeating the house, the first thing out of Bobby’s mouth was, “What the hell?” 

They filed into the kitchen and heard Gabriel’s voice, “Slower Sam, you can’t let it slosh. No not that slow. You know what forget it. I’ll do the sauce you chop the celery.”

“I told you I’m no good at cooking Gabriel,” Sam said with a laugh.

Gabriel chuckled as well. “That’s not cooking. That’s stirring. Anyone can stir. Or so I thought.”

Sam just stuck his tongue out at Gabriel, when they noticed the hunters standing bewildered in the doorway. “Gabriel? Are you…you can cook?” Dean asked astonished. 

“Why does everyone seem so surprised? I am billions of years old after all. I happen to find cooking relaxing. So sue me,” Gabriel said with a shrug. 

Bobby looked nervously around his kitchen as if to make sure it was still in one piece. Satisfied with what he saw he turned back to Gabriel and just said, “Thanks.”

“This is my thank you for helping me and for putting up with me.”

Dean came over to look over Gabriel’s shoulder and reached out to put a finger in the sauce to taste it only to have his hand smacked with the spoon. “Don’t even think about it Deano. It’ll be ready soon then you can have as much as you want.”

Dean just laughed and clapped Gabriel on the back as he walked away, licking the sauce residue from his hand where it got smacked with the spoon. He got what he wanted anyway, and damn was that good sauce. Dean and Bobby both went to wash up for lunch, and came back just as the oven dinged and Gabriel pulled out a large dish and put in a pie. After a bit more fiddling and putting stuff into serving bowls Sam helped Gabriel carry it all over to the table and the hunters and archangel ate more than they thought their stomachs could hold. 

“Damn boy. If you can cook like that, we may have to keep you around,” Bobby said gruffly as he sat back away from the table. 

Gabriel just laughed as he pulled the pie out of the oven to groans from Sam and Bobby who couldn’t possibly eat another bite, and Dean’s eyes just lit up. If that meal was anything to go by, that pie would be incredible. Sam and Bobby got up to go watch TV and let Dean and Gabriel enjoy their pie. Sam, without thinking leaned down and gave Gabriel a quick kiss as they were leaving, then he froze for a moment, not knowing if Gabriel would want anyone to know yet, but at Gabriel’s smile and Dean’s raised eyebrow, he just smiled and left, but he kept a close ear on what was going on in the kitchen. He hoped Dean knew better than to make trouble over it, but Gabriel needed to get used to being with people other than him all the time. 

Once the pie was dished out to both of them, Dean looked at Gabriel curiously. “When did that happen?”

Gabriel shrugged, “This morning.” He wasn’t really sure how Dean was going to take it and part of him wished that Sam had stayed. 

“Huh,” Dean said. “You sure that’s a good idea right now…you know…with everything.” Dean wasn’t disapproving exactly but he didn’t want to see anyone get hurt over something that was jumped into out of desperation or loneliness. 

Gabriel looked at Dean for a while, trying to find any disapproval or disgust anywhere, and when he didn’t find any he just relaxed and sat back. “Don’t worry Deano. We know what we’re doing.”

It was Deans turn to shrug. If he was going to give anyone the third degree it would be Sam, and he definitely didn’t want to deal with his brother if he set back Gabriel’s healing, so he just let it go and settled for complimenting Gabriel on the best pie he had ever had which Gabriel just beamed at. When Cas popped in as they finished their pie he left the angelic brothers alone and went to hunt down his own brother. 

 

He found him in the living room with Bobby and said, “Sam can I talk to you outside.” Sam glanced towards the kitchen Dean added, “Cas is with him. He’s fine,” so Sam followed his brother outside. 

Once they were far enough from the house that they wouldn’t be overheard Dean rounded on Sam, “What the hell are you thinking? He’s in no shape to deal with something like this and what is that going to do to you when you break him huh?”

Sam just took a deep breath forcing himself not to get defensive. He knew where Dean was coming from, and it’s not like he hadn’t had those same thoughts. Sam decided to take a different track in this. “Did you know that Gabriel made Cas promise to keep me safe if anything happened to him? That’s why he pulled me out of the cage.”

“Huh?” Dean oh so eloquently said. 

“And after the mystery spot, I let him go because I couldn’t hurt him,” Sam continued. At Dean’s constipated look Sam kept talking. “You’re not telling me anything I haven’t already thought about Dean, but these feelings have been there for a long time, and when I found him this morning with my gun…” Sam trailed off with a gasp. He hadn’t meant to tell his brother that. Dean just sucked in a sharp breath, and just nodded once he realized that Sam hadn’t meant to say that. He would keep it to himself. “I gave him something to live for. And we both have every intention of taking things very slowly.”

“This could go very bad you know,” Dean said in one last warning. 

“I know, but we have to take the chance,” Sam willed his brother to understand. 

“Okay. Just…be careful ok?” Dean said as they started walking back towards the house. 

 

Gabriel and Cas saw the Winchesters walking outside rather stiffly, and Cas tilted his head in confusion. “Dean’s pissed because me and Sammy are together now,” Gabriel explained to his little brother. 

“I see.” Cas wasn’t really surprised that they were together. He had long known about Gabriel’s feelings for the hunter, and given the care that Sam had been giving to Gabriel in recent days, he had come to suspect some feelings on his part too. “I do not think that Dean has a problem with you being together. If he is upset it is likely more to do with the situation you find yourselves in.” Gabriel snorted derisively. “Whatever has been happening has been good for you though brother. Your grace is doing much better. If it continues at this pace you should be able to feel it again within a few days, and start using it in moderation soon after.”

Gabriel broke into a grin at that. “Thanks bro.”

When he saw Sam and Dean walking back towards the house he looked worriedly towards the door, but when Sam came in he gave him a reassuring smile and a nod to let him know that everything was ok. He would get more information out of Sam later. 

Sam and Dean, rather than return to the living room, walked towards the kitchen. “You should be good to get your stitches out today, and since Cas is here we can go ahead and knock that out for you if you want,” Sam said. 

Gabriel nodded nervously and followed the brothers upstairs without a word. He knew this was going to hurt and he didn’t know how long Cas would be able to keep him out. Especially with his healing grace. The stronger his grace got the more it would fight against Cas. When Sam told him to take off his shirt and lie down he complied still without saying a word.

Sam could tell that Gabriel would need some reassurance, and knew how scary it could be not knowing what was going to happen. He sat down next to the archangel and began to explain. “So here’s how we’re going to do this,” he said addressing everyone in the room, “Once Cas has you under we are going to start with the stitches on your stomach since those are the most painful, then we will move on to your chest, and if you’re still out we will get your arms and legs. If you wake up during the process we will finish up the wound we are working on because we can’t leave it half done, and then leave the rest for now until Cas can come back and we can finish up. Once the stitches are out, you will feel tender for a few days, but it won’t be bad. It will actually feel better than the discomfort the stitches are giving you now. Any questions?” 

Gabriel let out a shaky breath. He felt a little better knowing what to expect, and was grateful that they were going to spare him as much pain as possible. “Just if I wake up during, and feel the pain…”

Sam hadn’t thought of that. He would most likely flashback to his torture at Lucifer’s hands. Sam sighed heavily. How could he not have thought of that? “Okay how about this. When Cas knocks you out we can get your stomach out of the way as quickly as we can, because I can tell you from experience you don’t want to be awake for that and then we can wake you up for the rest if you think that will be easier.”

Gabriel nodded, relieved that Sam had understood without him having to spell it out in front of everyone. He could handle a little pain, so long as he was aware of what was going on and why it was happening. When he was ready Cas put two fingers on his forehead and the Winchester brothers set to work. It was good that they had just as much experience removing stitches as they did placing them, because they were barely finished with his stomach before Gabriel started to wake. He placed a hand on Gabriel’s arm ready to move if he started having a flashback, but apparently he had missed the end of the pain and they all sighed in relief when he opened his eyes without panic. 

“How are you feeling?” Sam asked. 

“Sore, but not too bad,” Gabriel replied. 

Sam looked to Cas, “That didn’t last very long at all.”

Cas looked ashamed, “His grace is healing and is fighting back more. I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault Cas. We just weren’t expecting it is all,” Dean said placing a hand on Cas’ shoulder. At the nods from the rooms other occupants Cas relaxed. 

“Just let us know when you’re ready to continue,” Sam told Gabriel softly. 

Cas quickly made his excuses to leave and Gabriel rolled his eyes. “You’d think a seasoned soldier wouldn’t be so squeamish about a little pain.”

“He probably wouldn’t be if he hadn’t seen the state we found you in,” Dean said and immediately got a glare from his brother and realized that he stuck his foot in it as he looked at Gabriel and saw him with his eyes screwed shut. 

Sam reached out a hand and ran it through Gabriel’s hair, “Gabe, its okay. We got you.”

Gabriel let out a shaky breath and reached up to lace his fingers with Sam’s. “Sorry,” he said sheepishly.

“I’m the one who should be sorry,” Dean muttered under his breath. 

Gabriel forced a smile, “Don’t worry Deano. I gotta learn to stop being so sensitive sometime right?” 

“You okay?” Sam asked concerned.

“I’m good. Let’s just get this over with,” he said as he laid his head back. 

The removal of the stitches in his chest and arms were punctuated with frequent whimpers, and a few leaked tears, but Gabriel kept himself still and the brothers worked quickly, each taking a side. Once that was done Dean stood and said, “I’ll let you do his legs,” and he quickly made his escape from the room. 

Sam understood. After all the cuts on his legs went up pretty high, but he wasn’t sure if Gabriel would be more comfortable with a ‘chaperone’ in the room or not. If Gabriel wanted him to he would drag Dean back in here though. “You gonna be okay with this Gabe?” Sam asked softly, not wanting to spook the archangel. 

Gabriel nodded slowly, as he gently removed his pants so that Sam could get at the cuts. He started at the bottom and worked his way up quickly, eager to get this over with. He didn’t finish the first though before he started the second. He wanted to get everything that could make Gabriel panic all in one go, rather than make him go through it twice. When Sam got up high enough that he was nearly touching Gabriel’s crotch, he could feel Gabriel tense and start to shake so Sam started talking to him. “It’s okay Gabriel. I’m here. It’s just me. Everything is gonna be okay. I promise. Just hang in there a little longer. I’m almost done….there. All done.”

Gabriel grabbed the sweatpants and pulled them on in record speed then curled onto his side shaking. Sam tentatively reached out a hand and put it on his arm, but Gabriel flinched away, so Sam went to sit on the other bed, fighting his tears. He knew it couldn’t be helped, but putting the man he loved through this was killing him. It was about twenty minutes before Gabriel turned back over and reached out to Sam. “Sam. I’m so sor…”

Sam was on the bed next to Gabriel as soon as he reached out and interrupted the angel’s apology before he could even get it out. “Don’t you dare. You have nothing to be sorry about.”

Gabriel knew he shouldn’t have freaked out like that, but the pain so close to…that area...it was too much. He knew he had hurt the hunter with his reaction and he hated it. He leaned over and kissed him softly, deepening the kiss as soon as he felt Sam respond. Sam stayed carefully beside Gabriel and put his hand on the side of Gabriel’s face rather than his chest or stomach. After a while of deep, passionate kissing Gabriel took Sam’s wrist and started guiding his hand down. 

Sam gasped and pulled back slightly. “Gabriel…” he said both in question and warning. 

Gabriel just looked him in the eyes and said, “Just touch me Sam.”

“Gabriel, you don’t have to…”

Gabriel interrupted him, “I need this Sammy. I need to remember pleasure rather than pain. Just touch me. Please.”

Sam nodded and lowered his mouth back to Gabriel’s and kissed him deeply as his hand trailed lower to palm Gabriel’s erection through his pants. He could feel Gabriel tense up, and started to pull his hand away, but Gabriel grabbed his wrist before he could. “Don’t stop,” he breathed against Sam’s lips. 

Sam was torn, but in the end decided that Gabriel knew better than he did what he needed and what he could handle and tentatively rubbed the hard cock beneath his hand, encouraged when he got a low moan from the archangel. Sam tilted his head began kissing down Gabriel’s neck, hitting a spot that made him moan again and thrust up into Sam’s hand. Sam started rubbing faster and harder, not daring to go beneath the pants just yet, keeping his mouth on Gabriel’s neck and face. Gabriel started breathing heavily, and Sam glanced at Gabriel’s face just to make sure it was in pleasure not panic, and smiled when he saw what he wanted to see. “Oh yes Sammy…so close…” he gasped out, and when he came he buried his face in Sam’s neck breathing heavily. Sam just pulled him close and kissed the top of his head. “Love you Sammy,” Gabriel murmured sleepily. 

“I love you too Gabriel,” Sam said softly as Gabriel drifted off to sleep. He had been awake most of the day today, and up until the stitches were coming out it had been a good day. He must have been exhausted. Sam spared a brief thought to the fact that Gabriel hadn’t cleaned up, but oh well. He wouldn’t be the first or the last guy to sleep in his own cum. He could get a shower in the morning. Sam ignored the bulge in his own pants and just enjoyed having Gabriel in his arms until he too fell asleep, far sooner than he normally would have if he hadn’t already been laying down and not doing anything. 

 

Sam woke first the next morning and just watched Gabriel sleep for a while. When Gabriel started to stir Sam leaned over and woke him with a kiss that Gabriel happily returned with a hum of approval. Once he was awake he started to roll off Sam and then scrunched up his face and said distastefully, “I’m sticky.” Sam couldn’t help but laugh at that. After making sure that Gabriel wouldn’t need any help getting the water right and that he would be okay meeting him downstairs, Sam headed down to get some coffee started. 

He was just pouring his first cup, when Gabriel came in, greeted him with a kiss and said, “Good. You didn’t try to cook.”

Sam sighed indulgently, “I’m never going to live that down am I?”

“Nope,” Gabriel quipped as he set to work on pancake batter. As he poured the batter from the first pancake into the skillet, he got some bacon started sizzling in the other skillet. As he expected the smell of the bacon soon had the other hunters in the house shuffling sleepily into the kitchen. 

“Thank God Gabriel’s cooking,” Dean said as he poured a cup of coffee. 

“Are you kidding? You couldn’t pay me to let Samsquatch near a stove.”

Sam just groaned at the nickname, but he was secretly pleased that Gabriel was feeling enough like his normal self to use it. Sam resigned himself though, knowing that if he made a fuss he would end up with something much worse. 

Bobby went to get the butter and syrup for the pancakes and sat at the table with the rest waiting for the food. After breakfast, Dean and Bobby headed out on another hunt and Sam and Gabriel went to watch some television. They couldn’t find anything they could agree on on TV, but Bobby had some movies they both liked and they settled in to watch Batman Returns. It was towards the middle of the movie when Gabriel bolted upright from where he had been leaning against Sam and his eyes went wide. 

“What is it Gabe? What’s wrong?” Sam asked concerned. 

Gabriel just turned to Sam with a grin on his face. “My grace. I can feel my grace again!” he exclaimed as he tackled the hunter and kissed him soundly. 

Sam just laughed at the archangel’s antics. “So you’re okay then?” he asked happily. 

“I will be. It still has a lot of healing to do, but I can feel it again,” Gabriel said. “I wasn’t sure if it would ever heal, but it is.” Even with Cas’ reassurances he had been worried about it, but now he could see for himself. 

“That’s great,” Sam said with a grin as he pulled his arms tighter around his angel kissing him again. 

“Oh just wait. Once I’m all healed I’m gonna show you the world…” Gabriel went on talking about all the places they would go and the things they would see. He was telling Sam all about his homes all over the world. 

Sam felt like he should probably make it clear that he didn’t intend on abandoning hunting or Dean, but there would be time for that. He would let the angel have his moment. After a quick lunch of sandwiches Sam noticed that Gabriel was getting tired so he shuffled him back upstairs. 

Sam sat on the bed leaning against the headboard and held out his arms for Gabriel who snuggled up to his chest. “You know you don’t have to be here. I’ll be fine. You can go watch tv or something if you want.”

Sam just smiled at the archangel like he was an idiot, pressed a kiss to his lips and said amusedly, “Shut up and go to sleep.”

It was about two hours into Gabriel’s nap when he began trembling and whimpering again. Sam shifted himself down on the bed so that he was laying down and could hold Gabriel more completely. His nightmares were getting a lot better, but they would likely still pop up from time to time for a while. He held the archangel close, rubbing his back, and whispering words of encouragement until he started awake, looking around with wide eyes. His eyes quickly found Sam and began to lose their panicked look, before he relaxed and dropped his head back on the hunter’s chest. “So much for being fine huh,” he said wryly, irritated at his own weakness. 

“You are fine Gabriel. I told you that the nightmares will take time. Hell I still have nightmares from things that happened years ago. It doesn’t mean that something is wrong with you,” Sam reassured the morose angel. “And I’ll always be here to take care of you,” he added moving his hand up to brush some hair out of Gabriel’s eyes and run his hand down the archangel’s jaw. 

Gabriel looked up at him love and gratitude shining in his eyes as he kissed the hunter deeply. A few minutes later Gabriel’s hand started unbuttoning Sam’s shirt. Sam just muttered against Gabriel’s lips, “Gabe, you don’t have to…”

Gabriel pulled away and smiled at Sam, “I know I don’t have to. I want to.” At Sam’s worried look he said, “I promise I’ll stop if I need to.” Gabriel began kissing and nipping along Sam’s jaw before moving to his neck while his hands are steady unbuttoning. Once Sam’s shirt is all the way unbuttoned, Gabriel pushes it to the sides, and begins trailing his lips along Sam’s collarbones making the hunter shiver in anticipation. 

When Gabriel rakes his fingernail lightly over Sam’s nipple he moans. His jeans are getting uncomfortably tight. Sam is going crazy by the time Gabriel’s mouth makes it down to his belly button and Gabriel’s hands move to unbutton his jeans, but then he stops. Sam looks down panting and sees the tense set of Gabriel’s jaw like he’s trying to force himself to continue, and Sam restrains his groan and says, “Gabriel stop,” as he reaches down and pulls on his arm to bring him back up to his level. 

“I can keep going,” Gabriel muttered.

“No,” Sam said firmly. 

Gabriel looked up at the flushed hunter and could see the barely concealed lust in his eyes to match his straining dick, and Gabriel felt horrible. He thought he could do this, and after last night, when Sam didn’t get any release he wanted to help the hunter. “Gabriel,” Sam said again pulling his arm a little more insistently until Gabriel gave in and moved up so his head was on the hunter’s shoulder with tears in his eyes. 

“I’m sorry Sam. I thought I could…”

“You have nothing to be sorry for Gabriel. I shouldn’t have let you go that far,” Sam said softly running his hands through the archangel’s hair, and willing his erection to go away. 

Gabriel moved his hand down to rub Sam through his jeans before Sam could stop him, “Gabriel,” Sam warned. 

Gabriel silenced him with a quick kiss. “I can do this much Sammy. Let me do this for you.”

Sam studied Gabriel’s eyes looking for any sign of hesitation or doubt and found none so he slowly nodded. Gabriel’s lips attached back to his as Gabriel began to rub more insistently. Sam knows that Gabriel had gotten him so hot before that it won’t take long to get him off, even through his jeans, and when Gabriel’s mouth latches on to that sweet spot on his neck, his hips buck up, and Gabriel starts rubbing faster. “Ga…Ga…Gabriel,” Sam cries out as he comes. 

Gabriel smiled and placed a tender kiss on Sam’s neck. At least he was able to do something right. 

Sam gave him a lazy loving kiss and excused himself to go change and clean up. He could tell that Gabriel was in no shape for him to return the favor. When he returned to the room his head was much clearer and he knew that he had to set some things straight with Gabriel. He sat down on the other bed, and Gabriel looked at him sadly and sighed, sitting up on his bed facing the hunter. 

“Gabriel,” Sam sighed heavily, “Look at me. I want to make this perfectly clear. I do not want you to push yourself to do something you aren’t ready for. Ever. I don’t care how hot and bothered you get me. If you get uncomfortable…at all…you stop. No matter what. Understand?” Gabriel nodded but still looked like a kicked puppy. Sam went to his knees on the floor in front of Gabriel and cupped his jaw. “I don’t care about any of that. I care about you. I just want you here. To be able to kiss you,” he punctuated that with a quick kiss, “to hold you, to talk to you. That’s what I care about. The rest can wait. Okay?”

Gabriel nodded with tears his eyes and a small smile. “I’m…”

“And don’t you dare apologize,” Sam said with a smile, and Gabriel leaned forward to kiss him in lieu of an apology. 

When Gabriel pulled away he looked over at the clock. “Let’s go start dinner?” he said hopefully. 

“Sure,” Sam said standing up and pulling Gabriel with him. 

 

It was about a week later and Gabriel felt comfortable enough to be left with Dean and Bobby for a while and convinced Sam to go to the store for him. He had been doing a lot of cooking as therapy, and all the hunters were properly appreciative, so there wasn’t much food left in the house, and Gabriel felt that Sam needed to get out for a while. His nightmares had lessened to average about one every other night and he hadn’t had a flashback in over a week. He had also been spending more time in the house as a whole, and with the other hunters in residence. Not only that but he was finally able to access his grace enough to defrost a steak or pop up a candy bar, though that seemed to be his limit at the moment. It did manage to finish healing his body and wings though. 

Bobby was outside working on one of the old cars while Dean and Gabriel were playing video games in the living room. Suddenly Gabriel was off the couch and curled up in the corner muttering and Dean glanced out the window to see the old junker that Bobby was working on the electrical system on had sparked and was on fire. He looked between Gabriel and the window for a second trying to figure out where his priority should be. He ran to the door and yelled, “Bobby you good?” 

“I got it ya idget,” he yelled back already brandishing one of the large fire extinguishers he kept on hand for times like this. 

“Ok when you’re done I might need you in here,” Dean said as he ran back to the living room and got to work trying to coax Gabriel out of the corner. Sam was gonna kill him. 

“Make it stop…It burns…please…put it out…it burns…” Gabriel kept up a steady stream of muttering as he was rocking back and forth. 

Dean was way outside of his comfort zone but he tried to think what Sam would do in these situations. He put his hand on Gabriel’s shoulder and said, “It’s ok Gabriel. The fire is gone.” When that didn’t do anything he started awkwardly rubbing the shoulder. “um…You’re safe Gabriel. The fire is gone. It’s ok.”

Bobby came inside after that and at seeing the sight in front of him he said, “Balls.” 

“A little help here Bobby?” Dean said desperately. Bobby went to his computer to see if he could pull up something on what to do in these kinds of situations. “Come on Bobby. What do I do here?”

“Shit if I know. I’m trying to find out ya idget!”

Dean in desperation sat down and put an arm around the archangel and just started talking, “Come on Gabriel, snap out of it. We gotcha. You’re safe. Sam is gonna kill me if he comes back and finds you like this. Come on man. The fire’s gone. I promise. You’re here at Bobby’s. You’re ok.”

After what seemed like forever Dean found himself with a lapful of sobbing archangel. He kind of patted Gabriel’s back in what he hoped was a reassuring way, when Sam came barreling through the door. 

 

Sam pulled back into the salvage yard and the first thing he saw was the charred car that Bobby had been working on. He cursed to himself. If there was a fire and Gabe saw it…He left all the groceries in the car and burst into the house like a man possessed and saw a very awkward Dean with Gabriel crying in his lap. If the situation hadn’t been so dire he would have laughed at the expression on his brother’s face, but he ran over and fell to his knees next to them and gathered Gabriel in his arms relieving his brother of the burden. He send Dean a grateful look for taking care of Gabriel as Dean and Bobby went outside to find something to tinker with and give them some privacy. 

Sam pulled Gabriel close into his lap rubbing his back and peppering his temple with kisses while murmuring, “I gotcha Gabe. I’m here now. It’s ok. You’re safe. I’m here.”

Once he had calmed down Gabriel realized what happened and sat up. “Oh my dad. Please tell me I didn’t…”

“Scare the crap out of Dean and Bobby? Yeah,” Sam said quietly. He knew that Gabriel was going to say something along the lines of make a fool of myself, or act like a child. He liked his way of putting it better. Plus it showed him that they cared. That they were worried. 

“They must think that I’m…”

“Going through a tough time? Yeah,” Sam said a little more firmly. 

“Are you ever going to let me finish a sentence?” Gabriel asked irritated.

Sam knew that after breaking down in front of Dean and Bobby, that he just needed to get his mind off of it so set out to irritate the archangel and said, “I just did.”

Gabriel got up and stomped up the stairs. Sam thought that maybe he took the wrong road there and so he sighed and headed up after him, after sticking his head out the door and asking the other two hunters to bring in the groceries. 

 

Sam stepped into the room that he and Gabriel had been sharing to see the archangel lying face down on the bed. Sam sat next to him and put a hand on his back. “I’m sorry Gabe. I was just trying to get your mind off of it.”

Gabriel sniffled. “It’s ok. It was pretty funny. It’s just…” Gabriel trailed off. 

“Just what Gabe? Talk to me.”

“I never wanted them to see me like that. I’m an archangel for crying out loud. I should strike fear into the hearts of my enemies and all that jazz, not be curled up on the floor crying like a baby.”

“Oh come on Gabriel. You should know that they don’t think any less of you for it. They want to help you almost as much as I do,” Sam laid down next to Gabriel and put his arm around his back. “I’m not saying you have to let them in completely. I get that you’re just not comfortable with that, but don’t be embarrassed if you need their help when I’m not around ok?” After the fit Gabriel threw to get him out of the house, Sam knew better than to offer to never leave him again. Not only that, but it really wasn’t practical in the long run. Gabriel had to learn that there were other people he could lean on too, even if they weren’t very good at it. 

They lay there for a while in silence until Gabriel sighed heavily and said, “I’m gonna go take a shower,” as he got up and left the room. He gave Sam a small smile and a kiss though to let him know he was forgiven. 

Dean came upstairs when he heard the shower going. He assumed it was Gabriel in the shower and wanted to talk to Sam. Dean stood in the open doorway watching Sam for a moment. He looked weary. Dean could understand that. The one time he leaves his boyfriend alone something like that happens. “So fire is a trigger huh?” Dean asked casually as he slid into the room. Sam looked up at him curiously. “Bobby found an article online about PTSD. It talks about triggers and flashbacks and all that stuff. Wasn’t very helpful though.”

“Seems like it was pretty helpful if you learned that much.”

“Well it was helpful for understanding it, but not to know what to do. Apparently that depends a lot on the person.”

“Are you asking me what you should do if that happens again?” Sam asked the corners of his mouth twitching as he remembered the look on Dean’s face when he came in. 

“Yeah I guess. I mean I don’t think it’s much of a secret that I was pretty lost down there. I mean, I hope I never get in that situation again, but it’s best to be prepared right?” 

Sam nodded. Dean was definitely right about that. “Well for Gabriel body contact helps, but don’t hold him in such a way that it’s restraining. Not until after he comes out of the flashback. Otherwise just talk to him, assure him he’s safe and okay.”

“Yeah I did that, probably not very well though.”

“I think you did fine. You got him through it. That’s the important thing. When he comes out of it he usually breaks down a bit, so just be there, and assure him that you don’t think less of him for falling apart. That’s the hardest part for him. Having people see him like that, feeling weak.”

“Yeah I get it. Kinda like me when I came back from hell. I wouldn’t let anyone see me like that but I hated feeling weak.”

“Exactly.” 

“So does he have any other triggers that we should watch out for?” Dean asked. 

“Not that I know of yet. He hasn’t really been out much to find any, but I’ll let you know if there are.”

Dean nodded and got up to leave. He passed a shirtless Gabriel in the doorway and said, “You good?”

“Yeah Dean. And thanks,” Gabriel said sincerely. 

Dean patted his shoulder. “Don’t mention it,” he said as he walked back downstairs. 

Gabriel walked back into the room, perched on Sam’s knee and started twirling a lock of the hunter’s hair around his finger. “So I may have overreacted a bit about the teasing.”

“Gabe…”

“Ah ah ah. I’m talking,” Gabriel admonished as he put a finger over Sam’s lips. “I’m sure it may come as no surprise to you that I’ve always been a bit of a drama queen. Comes from being the youngest for so long. I know you are trying to be all sensitive and caring and stuff, and I appreciate it, but stop treating me like I’m going to break. If this is going to work, you have to call me on my bullshit like that. I know I still have issues that you have to tread lightly around, but not everything. Okay?”

Sam smiled widely at the archangel. “Ok,” he promised. 

“Good,” Gabriel said smugly as he pushed Sam backwards on the bed and climbed up next to him and started kissing him. After a few minutes Gabriel shifted their positions until he was lying flat on his back with Sam leaning over him and he took Sam’s hand and started moving it down. 

Sam still wouldn’t initiate anything like that. Since that first time they had rubbed each other off through their pants a few times, but Gabriel always had to be the one to start it. All he had to do anymore was give Sam’s hand a nudge though and Sam got the hint. And so Sam started trailing his hand down Gabriel’s chest, stopping to play with his nipples a bit, making the archangel moan into Sam’s mouth. Once Sam started moving lower however, he was surprised when Gabriel lifted his hips and lowered his pants. Sam pulled back a bit and looked into Gabriel’s lust darkened eyes, “Are you sure?”

Much like that first night Gabriel just said, “Touch me Sammy.”

Sam moved his hand the rest of the way slowly looking for any sign of Gabriel getting uncomfortable. Gabriel’s breathing was heavy with lust and he moaned as Sam’s hand brushed against his erection on its trek downward. Gabriel’s breath hitched when Sam’s fingers traced lightly up the the large vein on the underside of his cock. Encouraged Sam repeated the action more firmly, drawing another moan from the archangel. He wrapped hand around Gabriel’s throbbing member and started to pump slowly, as he peppered kisses along Gabriel’s jaw and neck. Sam moved down a bit more and started nipping and sucking along Gabriel’s collarbone, enjoying the sounds his angel made. Sam moved his mouth tentatively over Gabriel’s nipple, ghosting a breath across it and watching closely for any signs of discomfort before taking it in his mouth. At that action Gabriel’s hips bucked as he thrusted into Sam’s hand. He kept that pace for a while, before moving his mouth lower kissing along the bottom of Gabriel’s ribcage. 

He stopped and lifted his head enough to look into Gabriel’s eyes. “Please Sam,” Gabriel gasped as he thrust his hips up again. Just to make sure Sam continued down slowly waiting for the telltale tensing of Gabriel’s body as he lightly licked the precum off the head of Gabriel’s dick, drawing a guttural moan from the archangel. He then let his tongue trace the same route his fingers had first as he licked from base to tip, causing Gabriel to thrust upwards again. “Please Sammy,” he gasped again. So Sam wrapped his lips around the head and moved down swallowing Gabriel’s entire length. 

Sam made sure to keep his hands no lower than Gabriel’s sides as he rubbed the archangel’s chest and stomach while he was bobbing up and down on the hard leaking cock. He didn’t dare risk his hands getting too close to Gabriel’s ass, and he could tell by the way the archangel was, even now, keeping his legs together that doing this from the side was the only way to go. When Gabriel’s hand came down and tangled tightly in Sam’s hair he could tell that Gabriel was close, and Sam deep throated him one last time, swallowing around his length as Gabriel cried out his name as he emptied himself in the hunter’s throat. 

Once Gabriel was spent, Sam placed one last kiss on his rapidly softening cock and began kissing back up Gabriel’s stomach as he gently pulled the angel’s pants back up, knowing that being exposed like that wouldn’t be good for him. When he made it back up to Gabriel’s mouth, Gabriel kissed him eagerly, pressing him until Sam was on his back.   
Gabriel ran his hands down Sam’s chest, undoing buttons as he went, and pulled his shirt to the side again. Sam trusted Gabriel not to go any farther than he was comfortable with and let him without a fight this time. As Gabriel pressed the shirt to the sides, he ran his hands down Sam’s body and undid his jeans, reaching inside and grabbing the hunter, while nipping and licking over Sam’s chest and shoulders. 

When Gabriel seemed to be getting frustrated at being restricted by Sam’s pants, Sam lifted his hips and slid them down a bit. Gabriel hummed in approval as he started pumping the hunter’s cock in an even rhythm, causing Sam to let out a low moan. When he could feel Sam getting close, he moved back up and latched onto that spot on Sam’s neck that always drove the hunter so crazy, and Sam came with Gabriel’s name on his lips. Gabriel just nuzzled into Sam’s neck with a grin, as Sam’s arms tightened around him. 

“You good Gabe?” Sam asked still breathless. 

“Better than good,” Gabriel said still grinning and tracing his hand over Sam’s chest and stomach. He was able to snap his fingers and clean them up now and didn’t hesitate to do so as he leaned up and kissed Sam again, before laying his head back down and drifting off to sleep. 

 

It was more than a week later before the next setback, and it was just a playful innocent comment from Dean that did it. The three of them were sitting around supposedly watching a movie, but spending more time teasing each other than anything else. Gabriel made a smart-ass comment about Sam, so Sam smacked him in the back of the head which made Dean laugh. “Guess we know who the top is in your relationship huh?” he said through his laughter. Sam immediately looked to Gabriel who had tensed up and froze. It took Dean a moment to realize and when he did, he sobered immediately, really not liking what that hinted at. 

Sam immediately pulled Gabriel to his feet and began walking them to their bedroom. He knew that Gabriel would rather be there if he was going to break down. He sent a forgiving look over his shoulder to Dean to let him know that he didn’t blame him. Sam had to support Gabriel most of the way he was shaking so badly, but it was a good sign that he hadn’t gone into a full-fledged flashback yet. Once they reached the bedroom, Sam knew that full body contact wasn’t going to be helpful here so he sat down and pulled Gabriel down so that his head was lying in Sam’s lap and Sam stroked Gabriel’s hair as he hummed a little tune that he hoped would relax the archangel, and it seemed to work as pretty soon Gabriel’s breathing evened out as he fell asleep. 

Sam heard a light knock on the door and he went and opened it to find Dean and Cas standing there. “Cas says Gabe is asleep?” Dean asked. When Sam nodded Dean just said, “Cas will stay with him. You come talk to me,” in a tight voice. Dean wasn’t going to sit there and wait for a chance to separate Sam from Gabriel. Not for this. He needed to talk to his brother now or it was going to drive him crazy. 

Sam knew this was coming. He knew that Dean wasn’t stupid. He knew what he said and what reaction it caused. He could put two and two together and come up right more often than not. It’s what made him such a good hunter. 

Dean led them all the way outside before he rounded on Sam, “Tell me Lucifer didn’t…” Dean couldn’t even complete the sentence. 

Sam closed his eyes, not wanting to think about it but nodded, “With his archangel blade.”

Dean turned whiter than any ghost they had ever seen and looked like he was going to be sick. That lasted all of three seconds before he lost it. “That sick son of a bitch,” Dean said as he grabbed the nearest object that happened to be a hubcap and threw it as hard as he could, ignoring the sound of shattering glass from one of the old cars in the junkyard. He turned back to Sam with fire in his eyes. “I swear to fucking god Sammy, if that bastard wasn’t already in the cage…fucking cage is too good for him,” Dean ranted as he paced. Over the weeks that Gabriel had been there, Dean had truly begun thinking of him as another brother, and treating him like one too. He may not be good with the feelings, but anything wanting to hurt Gabriel would have to go through Dean too. 

Suddenly Dean stopped and was looking at something over Sam’s shoulder. He turned and saw Gabriel standing there on the porch looking ready to kill, with Cas at his side with a rather helpless look. When Sam met Gabriel’s eyes the archangel turned and stormed inside. “Shit,” Sam muttered and took off after him. 

He reached their bedroom just a few steps behind Gabriel and jumped as the door was slammed shut behind him. Sam knew he was in hot water here, but what else could he have done? Gabriel stalked towards him, eyes burning with anger, and snarled, “You told him. You fucking told him!?”

Sam tried to placate his lover, “He figured it out. How could he not? He never would have believed me if I denied it, and this way he was able to get the anger out of his system.”

“You still should have tried! Damnit Sam, that was private!”

Sam knew that nothing was going to get resolved like this, with Gabriel so upset. “Gabriel please, just sit down and talk to me about this okay?”

“Sit down and talk? You want to sit down and talk? Why? So you can get more juicy gossip to talk about behind my back? Screw you Winchester!” Gabriel yelled. 

Sam knew that this was one of those times where he needed to ‘call Gabriel on his bullshit’ as the archangel had put it so steeled himself to do so. “ENOUGH!” Sam yelled, shocking Gabriel into silence. “I think I’ve at least earned the right for you to hear me out before making accusations Gabriel.” 

Sam could see Gabriel’s jaw twitching in anger as he sat roughly on the bed crossing his arms. “Fine. Talk.”

“Thank you. Maybe you haven’t noticed but Dean is like a dog with a bone when something threatens his family even if it’s just memories. He never would have believed me if I denied it, and he would never have let it go, and he would have inadvertently hurt you even more because of it. All I did was confirm what he suspected, because I thought it would be better for him to get his explosion out of the way before things got out of hand. And yes it was behind your back because I didn’t want you to have to go through that.”

Gabriel’s anger had dimmed at that explanation, but it was still there. “You still should have talked to me first. Maybe I wouldn’t have been able to handle having that conversation myself, but you still should have given me the option. Let me decide how I wanted to handle it. How am I ever going to learn to stand on my own two feet if you keep trying to keep me hidden away from anything and everything that might upset me? Wasn’t it you that said I had to face this head on? I don’t need you to shield me. I need you to support me.”

Sam hung his head as he realized that Gabriel was right. “You’re right Gabriel. I’m sorry. I screwed up. I should have talked to you first,” Sam said tears running down his cheeks. Sam heard the door open and then slam again and knew that Gabriel had walked out, and who knew if he would be back. 

 

Dean heard the argument, the whole neighborhood could have heard it if there was a neighborhood. He tried to stop Gabriel and apologize, but before he could get a word out Gabriel held out a hand, “Not now,” he snapped as he stormed past Dean and slammed the bathroom door. 

Gabriel didn’t actually need a shower now that he could snap himself clean again, but he had found that taking one helped him clear his head and relax, and he was very much in need of that right now. He stepped into the spray and let the hot water wash his anger away. By the time he got out of the shower he could see Sam’s point. He still thought he was right, but he understood why Sam did what he did. He winced as he remembered Sam’s tears and how he had just walked out. 

Dean was waiting in the hallway when Gabriel stepped out of the shower. Gabriel sighed. It looked like he was going to have to get this one over with first, but he would make it quick. He needed to get back to Sam. “Look Dean. I get it. I do, but you all have to stop treating me like I’m made of glass. Next time, talk to me.” He didn’t even wait for a response before he continued on to the room he shared with Sam. 

He walked in to find Sam in the same position he was in when Gabriel left. Gabriel went to his knees in front of Sam and kissed him tenderly. “You came back,” Sam said in awe. 

Gabriel brushed a stray hair out of Sam’s face before cupping his jaw, “I was always going to come back idiot,” he said fondly. “I love you. I just needed to cool down.”

“I love you Gabriel. I’m sorry.”

“I know. Just stop making unilateral decisions about what is best for me okay?” Gabriel said softly. 

“I promise.”

“Good,” Gabriel said with a wicked grin as he snapped his fingers and soundproofed the room, like he should have done before he lost his temper, and tackled Sam on the bed kissing him. He knelt between Sam’s legs and pressed his body tightly against his hunter, as he deepened the kiss. 

Sam was surprised that Gabriel hadn’t moved off of him yet, and so held the archangel loosely so that he could if he wanted to without having to struggle. He kept one hand on Gabriel’s lower back while the other ran up his back under his shirt. It wasn’t long before Gabriel was sitting up taking his shirt off and then pulling at Sam’s shirt to try and get it off so Sam sat up enough to take his own shirt off, not sure where Gabriel was going with this, but letting him take the reins. 

Gabriel leaned back down and crashed his lips into Sam’s, the feeling of their naked chests rubbing together making him hard as a rock. He moaned as he ground down rubbing their erections together. Sam gasped and bucked his hips up creating even more friction as his hands wandered all over Gabriel’s back and sides. They were lost in their passion, grinding against each other until Sam sped up. “God Gabe…I’m…I’m close.” 

“Me too,” Gabriel panted as he leaned in and kissed Sam hard as he came. He felt Sam come with him and once they were both spent, he collapsed on the hunter and tucked his head into Sam’s neck, peppering it with short kisses as he snapped his fingers and cleaned them up. 

Sam ran his fingers lightly down Gabriel’s spine from his neck to the small of his back. “I love you Gabe,”

“Love you too Sammy, always,” Gabriel said as he slid slightly to the side and curled up half on top of the hunter and drifted off to sleep, Sam not far behind. 

 

The next day, when Gabriel went to take a nap, Sam came with him like always, but once they reached to room Gabriel stopped him from lying down. “Go back downstairs and hang out with your brother Sammy. I’ll be fine.”

“Gabriel?”

Gabriel sighed. He knew it wasn’t going to be that easy. “I need to prove to myself that I can function without you. You won’t always be able to be here…no don’t give me that look. I’m just being practical. You won’t always be able to drop everything just because I need a nap. Just…let me do this.”

Sam could see that Gabriel was serious, and he wanted to protest that he would always be there, but the fact was that Gabriel was right. Or more that it wouldn’t always be easy to drop everything, because it didn’t matter how hard it was, Gabriel was his first priority. “If you need me…” Sam let the sentence hang.

“I’ll call. I promise,” Gabriel said giving Sam a kiss before he left. 

Sam left the room, but he didn’t go far. He just sat in the hallway outside the door. He worried that if Gabriel called he wouldn’t be able to hear him from downstairs. 

Gabriel suspected that Sam didn’t go very far, but that’s ok. He didn’t expect him to this time. This was to prove that he would be okay so Sam would stop hovering, and to prove to himself that he could survive without Sam. 

Gabriel did wake to a nightmare, which didn’t surprise him because he was sleeping along for the first time in almost a month, but was able to calm himself down and pull himself together. He smiled in satisfaction, and stretched and got out of bed. He opened the door, nearly tripped over Sam, and frowned. He hadn’t thought he would be that close, but he just shook his head. He should have known. 

Sam’s eyes snapped up to Gabriel looking for signs of distress, but all he found were bright amused eyes. Sam smiled and stood, kissing his lover. “You good?” he asked just to be sure. 

Gabriel smiled back at the hunter. “I’m good Sammy.”

“Good,” Sam said as he laced his fingers with the archangel’s and they started downstairs. 

 

That night, when they lay curled up next to each other, Sam was deeply asleep, but Gabriel found sleep elusive. He propped himself up on his elbow and watched the hunter for a while tracing light patterns over his chest and stomach. Gabriel came to the conclusion that he was as healed as he was going to get for a while. It was time to let go of Sam. That thought filled him with sadness and he lay his head back down on Sam’s chest. He would enjoy this one last night first though. 

Sam woke and looked down at the sleeping archangel with a smile. He just watched Gabriel sleep for a while, before the angel started to stir. Sam leaned down and woke Gabriel with a kiss. Gabriel kissed him back hard and needy, before he pulled away and burrowed his face back into Sam’s chest. He stayed like that for a moment, just trying to remember the feel of Sam’s lips on his, Sam’s arms around him, then he sat up and sat cross-legged on the bed. 

Sam realizing that Gabriel had something he needed to get off his chest sat up and faced him and waited for the archangel to speak. “I know you were trying to give me something to hold on to, something to fight for, to live for, and I thank you for it. But I’m as good now as I’m going to get for a long while. I’ll be okay. You don’t have to pretend anymore,” Gabriel said looking down at the sheets.

Sam just looked confused for a moment before he realized what Gabriel meant. He stuttered for a moment, before he was able to get words out. “God Gabriel, is that what you think?” He said reaching out for Gabriel’s hands. “I love you Gabriel. I was never pretending about that. You have to know that,” Sam pleaded with the archangel to understand.

“The timing was a little too perfect Sammy,” Gabriel said wryly. 

Sam took a deep breath. He needed to come clean completely and then maybe Gabriel would believe him. Would understand. “Gabriel, look at me. Please,” when the archangel complied, Sam began. “I do love you. Don’t doubt that, but you’re right about the timing. That was to give you something to live for. I had wanted to wait until you were better before I said anything, but when I saw you that morning with my gun, I panicked. I don’t regret it. Not for a second, but I never intended on telling you then.”

“Then why didn’t you ever tell me before?” Gabriel asked, still not quite sure if he believed the hunter. 

Sam sighed. This part was gonna be difficult, but he had to make Gabriel understand, and sometimes the truth is harsh. “Because before you were just another monster. Something I shouldn’t care about. I never let myself consider the possibility. Then you were the archangel Gabriel, but then you were gone. I didn’t see you again until that hotel where you stood between us and your brother. I never had a chance to figure out what I was feeling, let alone act on those feelings.” Sam hadn’t missed Gabriel’s wince when he called him a monster, but Sam couldn’t help but think that this was the most important conversation of his life, and he couldn’t afford to mess it up with half-truths and dissemination. Gabriel looked at Sam searchingly as if trying to divine the truth. “I love you Gabriel. With everything I am. Forever,” Sam said sincerely looking directly into Gabriel’s eyes which began to shine with tears as the archangel moved forward and kissed the hunter.

Sam kissed Gabriel back with relief and held him tightly as they found themselves lying back down on the bed. It didn’t take long at all for them to be shirtless as Gabriel leaned over the hunter trailing his mouth along the hunter’s jaw and neck. “Love you Sammy,” he murmured against the soft skin. “So much.”

Sam didn’t even get a chance to respond as Gabriel started sucking on that sweet spot on Sam’s neck making the hunter gasp. The archangel moved down across Sam’s collarbone and down to his chest taking one of Sam’s nipples in his mouth. Sam moaned. He was painfully hard and Gabriel hadn’t even touched him yet. Gabriel continued kissing down Sam’s stomach and slowly slid Sam’s sweatpants down and pulled them completely off before situating himself between Sam’s legs and running his tongue up the underside of Sam’s cock.

Sam lifted his head to look at Gabriel and make sure he was okay with this, when he got a grin in response he couldn’t help his own grin and his head went back down as his back arched when Gabriel took him in his mouth. Gabriel’s tongue danced around Sam’s cock as the archangel’s head bobbed up and down. When Gabriel took him in all the way and swallowed around the hunter, Sam very nearly came undone. It was only Gabriel’s tight grip at the base that kept it in. “I’m not done with you yet,” Gabriel explained with a smirk as he lifted his head up and moved back enough to shed his own pants. 

Sam’s eyes widened, “Gabriel…”

“I’m good Sammy,” Gabriel whispered as he moved back up the hunter to attack his mouth again as their naked erections rubbed against each other. They both moaned at the sensation and ground hard into each other. They soon hit a rhythm moving against each other, and they were both breathing heavily when Gabriel shifted his body upwards a bit, causing Sam to whimper at the lessened contact, followed swiftly by a keening noise as Gabriel reached a hand between them and gripped their cocks together and began pumping. 

“Oh God Gabriel,” Sam cried. It only took a few more thrusts before twin spurts of hot liquid were coating their chests, and Gabriel collapsed bonelessly on top of Sam, cleaning them up with a snap of his fingers. 

As they caught their breath, Gabriel shifted slightly to the side laying half on top of the hunter. Sam pressed a kiss to Gabriel’s temple and said, “You’re amazing you know.”

Gabriel chuckled, “Yup, and don’t you forget it,” he quipped. 

Sam got a mischievous smirk on his face as he said, “I don’t know. I have a pretty bad memory. You may need to keep reminding me.”

Gabriel laughed loudly, “I think I can do that.”

They just lay there naked for a while taking turns between kissing, talking, and teasing each other. 

 

It was a few weeks later, after Dean and Bobby had just gotten back from a hunt, that they were apparently followed back because the house was suddenly surrounded by demons. Dean immediately called for Cas. They needed all the backup they could get. They had the door blocked off, but the demons were pounding on it.

Sam looked worriedly at Gabriel, and saw that he was scared, but holding it together. Until Cas and Dean pulled angel blades then Sam saw the panic creeping into Gabriel’s eyes. He knew that other than the knife he held the angel blades were the only thing that would kill the demons. They couldn’t afford to go into this fight without them. He glanced at the door and took a chance and pulled Gabriel back into the corner. 

“Gabe look at me. I understand. Just stay right here and don’t look okay. We’ll make sure nothing happens to you. I swear,” Sam said understanding, but urgently. He had to fight. They couldn’t afford to lose both him and Gabe from the fight. Not with as many demons as were out there. 

Gabriel took a deep shaky breath and said, “No. I’m fighting too.”

“Gabriel,” Sam said exasperated. 

“No Sam. I can’t hide behind you forever, and if something happened to you…any of you…while I’m over here cowering in the corner I could never forgive myself,” Gabriel said firmly, closing his eyes and willing his archangel blade into his hand. He looked at it with barely concealed panic in his eyes and nearly dropped it, but when the demons broke through the door he jumped into the fray with everyone else. He would protect his new family with everything he had. 

Sam was distracted by his worry for Gabriel and thus found himself on the ground being choked by a demon. He was relieved when he saw the flickering orange light signaling the demon’s death. As the demon fell over he saw a grinning Gabriel, “My turn to save you,” he said cheekily as he pulled Sam to his feet and they fought back to back. By the time it was over they counted 14 dead demons. 

Cas healed the hunters, as Gabriel couldn’t quite spare that much grace just yet, and they all got pretty banged up. Sam just swept Gabriel up in a kiss. “I’m so proud of you,” he said. 

Gabriel just beamed at him, and dragged him up the stairs to their bedroom. They quickly shed their clothes and tumbled naked into the bed nipping and kissing each other. They were both leaking precum by the time Gabriel pulled Sam on top of him and wrapped his legs around him. Sam immediately stilled as Gabriel tensed. He started to pull away but Gabriel just held on to him. “Gabriel,” Sam warned him. He could tell that Gabriel was uncomfortable.

Gabriel sighed, “Remember what I told you that first night you touched me? That I need to remember pleasure rather than pain.”

“It can wait until you’re ready,” Sam said softly resting his head against his angel’s. 

“I need this Sammy. Please. Or I’ll never be ready.”

Sam sighed. He didn’t know what to do. The idea of pushing Gabriel into something that he was uncomfortable with was physically repulsive to him, he could already feel his dick softening even, but Gabriel seemed so sure and what he said made sense. Sam swallowed audibly and nodded. He would push a little, but if it seemed like it was getting to be too much he would stop. Gabriel snapped his fingers and handed Sam a tube of lube. Sam set it next to him and kissed the archangel slowly before moving his mouth down Gabriel’s chest and stomach, taking his time. 

It wasn’t until he had Gabriel’s length in his mouth that he began exploring a little more as he moved his hands back lightly tracing the edges of Gabriel’s ass. He gently nudged Gabriel’s knees giving the angel the choice of whether to open them more or not. Gabriel trembled slightly but opened them, giving Sam full access to his tight hole. Sam reached for the lube and coated a finger before pressing lightly against Gabriel’s opening. Gabriel tensed, but didn’t make any move to stop him, so Sam screwed his eyes shut, refusing to think about what he was doing and pressed in. He made sure to hit Gabriel’s prostate right away, to give him as much pleasure as he could, and Gabriel gasped, the cock in Sam’s mouth twitching. 

Sam twitched his finger to hit Gabriel’s prostate again and Gabriel moaned bucking up into Sam’s mouth before grinding himself back down on his finger. Sam was encouraged by that and began moving his finger in and out slowly hitting Gabriel’s prostate every time. “More Sam,” Gabriel gasped out. 

Sam shook his head and released Gabriel from his mouth long enough to say, “Not this time Gabe.” He would give his angel what he needed, but there were some lines he just would not cross. He picked up the pace and began jamming his finger in harder and faster and took Gabriel’s length all the way in his mouth.

“Oh yes Sam!” Gabriel cried as he filled Sam’s throat with his seed. 

Once Gabriel was spent Sam moved back up and laid beside the archangel kissing him softly. He could tell something was bothering the archangel and felt a cold feeling in the pit of his stomach. He shouldn’t have gone so far. “Gabe I’m sorry,” he said. 

Gabriel just shook his head, “Don’t be. I understand,” he said softly.

Sam began to wonder if he had misunderstood Gabriel’s problem. That wasn’t really the response he was expecting. “Understand what Gabe?”

“You’re really gonna make me say it?” Gabriel asked indignantly.

“I’m trying to understand what’s bothering you, and I can’t unless you tell me.”

“You don’t want me. I’m too broken and you don’t want me,” Gabriel said rolling away from the hunter and trying and failing to keep his tears from falling. 

“God Gabe, No,” Sam protested as he tried to pull Gabriel back to him. When he didn’t come Sam plastered himself against the archangel’s back, “I want you Gabriel. Always. I love you. But I’m not going to cross that line until you are ready. I mean really, completely, no hesitation, ready.” Sam kissed Gabriel’s shoulder softly. 

Gabriel turned to look at Sam with an unreadable expression on his face. “Bond with me Sam,” he said in an almost challenging tone. 

“I…huh?” Sam said ineloquently. 

“Like I thought,” Gabriel said derisively and jumped out of the bed. 

Sam followed annoyed and grabbed Gabriel’s arm tightly. “I don’t think so Gabriel. You don’t get to do this,” at Gabriel’s heated look Sam just stood his ground, “You don’t get to throw something like that at me and then walk away. I don’t even know what that means, and you’re going to hold it against me because I don’t immediately agree?” Sam could see Gabriel deflating. “Now sit down and talk to me. Please,” Sam said firmly. 

Gabriel sighed and sat down. He was silent for a long time, but Sam waited patiently for him to speak. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have done it like that. A bonding shouldn’t be used to prove a point either.”

“What is bonding?” Sam asked.

“It’s merging my grace with your soul. Marking you as my eternal mate. Not exactly something that should be decided in the heat of the moment.”

“What would it entail?”

“Well the merge would leave you marked with my handprint and then we would consummate it.”

Sam’s jaw dropped, “You mean Dean’s handprint from Cas…”

“Is an uncompleted bond yes. Cassie had to thread his grace with Dean’s soul to put him back together after hell.” 

“What does that mean for them?” Sam asked worried about their brothers.

“Well for Cassie it means that it’s Dean or no one. When Dean eventually dies, Cassie will be able to find and visit his heaven. For Dean, it means nothing. Not unless they consummate it. Then they would be tied together forever.”

“So if they consummate it Cas would be stuck in Dean’s heaven with him? He wouldn’t be able to leave?” Sam could tell that it was easier for Gabriel to discuss the issue with regards to Dean and Cas so he framed his questions in that light. 

“No he would. He could still come and go as he pleased, it’s just that Dean’s specific heaven would now be his home, rather than all of heaven being considered as such. It would be kind of like a married couple. Cas could leave for work, but he always comes home at the end of the day.”

“Would that be difficult for Cas? Not being able to consider all of heaven home?”

“Nah. To follow the same analogy, it would be the equivalent of someone moving out of their parent’s house to live with their new spouse.”

“So it’s really just like marriage then,” Sam asked. 

“Well if you take out the ‘till death do you part’ and the possibility of divorce sure,” Gabriel said with a chuckle. 

Sam thought for a minute. What he was about to do scared the hell out of him, but he had also never been so sure of anything in his life. “So when you asked me to bond with you, is that really what you want or were you just trying to make a point?”

Gabriel tried to decide how to answer that. After a moment he just sighed and realized the only way forward was with the truth. “Sam, I’ve wanted to bond with you for a very long time. If that’s ever something you want all you have to do is say the word.”

Sam shifted a little and pulled Gabriel close to him kissing his temple. “How long?” Sam needed to be sure this wasn’t something brought on by his dependence since his torture. 

Gabriel looked up at the hunter. “I’ve loved you since the day I met you, but I knew I wanted to bond with you the day you walked out of that warehouse after TV land.”

Sam leaned down and captured Gabriel’s lips in a slow loving kiss. “Gabriel, I would love to bond with you.”

Gabriel’s eyes went wide. “But…” There was so much running through his mind that he didn’t know where to begin, not least of which was his assumption that Sam didn’t want him.

“I love you Gabriel, and there is nothing I want more than eternity with you.”

“And the consummation?” Gabriel asked carefully. 

“Obviously doesn’t have to be done right away. Whenever you’re ready. We will have forever after all,” Sam assured him with a smile. 

Gabriel turned so that he was facing Sam and placed a hand over his heart. “Are you sure about this Sammy? Once I do this there’s no going back.”

Sam looked into Gabriel’s eyes and said firmly and confidently, “I’m absolutely sure.”

Gabriel smiled widely, “This is gonna sting a bit,” he said as he pressed his hand tightly over Sam’s chest.

Sam winced as he felt a slight burn from Gabriel’s hand, but kept his eyes on Gabriel’s. Once the burning was over he felt a wave of love and desire wash over him and he gasped. “That’s what I feel for you Sammy,” Gabriel said softly. “Once the bond is completed you will be able to project feelings to me too and we won’t need contact with the mark,” Gabriel explained. 

Gabriel knew that a lot of his hesitation before had to do with his insecurities. He was afraid to give that last piece of his trust for something that may not last. So when Sam kissed him again he pulled them back to a laying position. After a few minutes they were both hard again and he said, “Take me Sammy.”

“Gabriel, don’t,” Sam warned. 

“I’m ready Sam. I promise,” Gabriel said as he placed his hand over the mark on Sam’s chest, flooding him with Gabriel’s emotion and Sam could find no doubt in there anywhere. 

Sam was still concerned though so told Gabriel, “Don’t let go,” Gabriel nodded in agreement as Sam’s hands trailed down brushing over his cock, and a spike of desire shot through the bond. Sam groaned. This was going to be harder than he thought if he was feeling Gabriel’s desire on top of his own. He was going to have a tough time lasting. 

When Sam had his fingers lubed up he tentatively pressed the first against the outer ring of Gabriel’s opening. Gabriel whimpered and pressed himself down trying to get more. Sam could read nothing but white hot lust coming through the bond, and when Sam inserted his finger and brushed against Gabriel’s prostate, he moaned along with the archangel. Gabriel was still pretty loose from before so it wasn’t long at all before he found himself inserting a second finger and he began scissoring Gabriel open. He could feel some slight discomfort bleeding through the lust, but it was only physical discomfort so Sam kept going. 

By the time he inserted the third finger they were both struggling to hold on as Sam rammed his fingers hard and fast into the keening archangel, who was doubling Sam’s desire. “Sam…in me…now,” Gabriel gasped out. Sam wasted no time lubing his cock and after making sure that Gabriel’s hand was secure on the mark he pressed himself gently against the ring of muscles. “Sam!” Gabriel cried impatiently, and sensing no hesitation on Gabriel’s part began pressing in gently. Once he was fully seated he stopped not only to let Gabriel adjust, but so that he didn’t blow right then and there. 

Gabriel bucked his hips up drawing a gasp from Sam as he started moving slowly. He reached down and wrapped his hand around Gabriel’s cock and began pumping in time with his thrusts. He sped up at Gabriel’s urging until he was pounding furiously into the archangel, hitting his prostate every time. “God Gabe…I can’t…” he panted, “I’m gonna…Ahh” he cried as he emptied himself into Gabriel, sending Gabriel over the edge with him as he came with Sam’s name falling from his lips. 

Sam was trembling as he fell beside Gabriel pulling the archangel close to him. He closed his eyes and tried to project his feelings, and knew he succeeded when he heard Gabriel’s gasp. “Now you see just how much I love you,” he whispered and was rewarded with a long sweet kiss as they drifted off to sleep.


End file.
